Too revealing?

Interesting piece of news on The Star Online today. To read it click here

Or if you're too lazy, the picture below sums up what's going on :

There's a RM500 fine for those who go against it. As expected, the 'Do's and Don'ts list' has sparked protest and outrage in some quarters (as reported here)

Their arguments were, in my personal opinion, valid points. Women have always been blamed as 'the source of evil'. It is unacceptable to say if a girl dresses a tad 'too revealing' and gets assaulted that 'she asked for it'. Honestly, does anyone still buy that argument?

How are they going to determine what's 'tight' and/or 'revealing' and what's not?

Before doing IB, I spent one semester doing matriculation locally (in Malaysia, that is). After spending 11 years in an all girls' day school where most of my friends were non-Malays, I got my very first wave of culture shock there.

My first Pendidikan Islam lesson, the ustaz threatened us with his 'kad kuasa', and said that he was authorised to 'tangkap khalwat' any couples seen doing anything funny. I was like, "oookay..."

That was a 'nice' welcome.

The whole environment of the campus was...well..to put it in a way, very religious. Now, I had no arguments against that (in principle, that is). I was ok with the fact that they tried to take care of everyone's 'spiritual well-being'. But I objected to the way they did it, and how they targeted only us girls.

Friday night ceramah focused mainly on how girls didn't wear camisoles with their baju kurung, or how thin the fabric is, or even how some girls don't wear socks. They made jokes at our expense, and the boys snickered at the front while us girls seethed with anger at the back.

We were proper second-class citizens, the female students. Actually, even worse than that. I felt the scavenger cats at the canteen were treated better. Then a sequence of events took place which left me properly traumatized. But that's a story for another day. Let's just say I never felt so happy to leave a place in my life.

Back to our main topic. Yet another article here (sorry! I make you read lots this time around). Statements such as, and I quote “A woman who wears an indecent outfit does not respect herself, so how can she expect men to respect her?” and 'there was no denying that men would be aroused by a scantily- dressed woman, as this was human nature' are ludicrous.

What is THAT all about?

At the same time, I do feel that we Malaysians have become too westernised - our clothes, our thinking, heck, even right down to our American accents we picked up from tv. Scantily-clad girls are no longer found only in 'large cities', as small town people would say. They now can be found in your own hometown. She can be your neighbour. Or your best friend. Or even your sister. It's such a norm now that people rarely bat an eyelash when they see such things.

A few years ago (when we Malaysians were still conservative...remember those times?), at a wedding reception, my mother made a remark about the bride, who wore a sleeveless, a-bit-on-the-sexy-side dress, saying that she 'tak tau nak hormat majlis,' showing her underarms to guests and her elders. At that time, I didn't understand what the fuss was about. Now I think I understand where my mom was coming from.

If you were to attend, let's say, your best friend's kenduri, you'd choose what you wear carefully. Or if you were to go to meet your relatives, your mom will surely ask you to wear something 'decent' (that is, if you have one like mine). If you go for a job interview, you'd spend hours deciding what to wear. Even in the medical profession, there are standards on what doctors should and should not wear. You may ask, why? Out of respect for the other person. You do not dress simply for yourself, it's also for every single person you meet that day, whether you know him/her or not.

As it is wrong for people to criticize you on how you dress, it is also unacceptable to impose your dressing on other people.

I guess what MPKB is trying to do is 'protect' their people from being keBaratan, while still trying to preserve eastern; and most importantly, Islamic values. And to be honest, when I went to Kelantan last summer, it was really nice not to see people 'flaunting' themselves, that everyone looked so well ummm... decent.

I feel SO old saying that.

But I still object to the statements made in the papers. Totally devoid of respect towards women.

That's the problem. They blame us for everything, and teach their brothers and sons that women are the root of all evil. They never taught their sons to respect their mothers and sisters, to love and cherish and protect. Instead they are taught to look at women with contempt.

And seriously, if you want to fight 'immorality' and 'indecency'? EDUCATE the people. EDUCATE them. EDUCATE them. Teach them good values; show them how to think for themselves; teach them the importance of respecting others, and also one's self. Only then will we stop being the mindless sheep we have become.

Not so easy, huh? We always prefer the quick-fix method, washing our hands off the problem afterwards, claiming we've done all we can. How myopic. How irresponsible. How typical. (Oh dear, it's the 't' word...again).

Hmmmmm

Just look at that.

I'm usually a neat person - well agak neat la. In my younger days (cewah) I loved spring cleaning, everytime I got stressed I'd clean the room from top to bottom - usually after midnight. (I know...I have weird habits, like bathing after 12am..there are even weirder habits you'd find out about if you get to know me better). Can't even be bothered to clean up anymore. Everytime I do, it gets messy again double quick.

The state of the rest of the room is more or less the same. Oh, I can still see the floor,thank heavens, but things are cluttered in groups - in an 'organized' sort of way.

You should see my laundry basket. It's like a volcano ready to erupt. In fact, it has a slightly smaller twin - the 'handwash' pile and the 'washing machine' pile, you see. Sometimes I yell at them : "Why can't you wash yourselves??"

My dishes get that a lot too.

I also wish that the food in the freezer would defrost themselves and voluntarily jump into the cooking pot.

I really marvel at my friends who are still studying and are also married +/- with kids. Cammane korang cope haaa? Aku kat sini diri sendiri pun tak terjaga. Mungkin sebab tu la jodoh korang awal and mine is still on suspension.

More friends are getting married within the next few months. I wish you all infinite joy. Me? Everytime anyone asks about 'my turn' (tak serik2 lagi ke?), my standard answer is now "Rabu. Datangla ye..bawak hadiah sekali.." (well I haven't used the 'hadiah' bit, but I think it's a good addition. Gonna use that next time).

Not going home for Christmas holidays. Somehow that thought makes me depressed...

Past the point of no return

I've done it.

I wrote to the medical school, and my name has been removed from the MTAS (just found out what MTAS is..it's Medical Training Application Scheme).

For better or for worse, Malaysia, here I come.

Burning the bridge (warning : ramblings ahead)

A couple of weeks ago, the job application forms for PRHO FY1 (Pre-registration House Officer, Foundation Year 1) came out. Final year medical students who are applying for FY1 posts have to fill in the application form, answering questions six questions on why he/she will make a good doctor, giving examples etc.

Yup, pretty wishy-washy.

Based on the new system of application (in its 2nd year this year), applicants are awarded 85 points in total, with academic ranking contributing 45 points maximum. The rest of the points are academic achievements, other prizes/awards, etc. To be honest, I don't know what's going on exactly.

Why? Because I'm not applying, that's why.

When I first started med school at Barts and the London, I intended to go back straight after qualifying. When I started my clinical year (year 3), I thought that staying would be a good idea, so that I can at least clear all my membership exams before going home, making it easier for specialist training. Last year, the UK Home Office came up with new immigration laws, affecting all non-UK/EU citizens across all professions, I'm sure. Because of the new laws, international students who qualify from UK medical schools are allowed to stay for the Foundation Year training (FY1 and FY2), but afterwards we'll be treated like any other foreign doctor. After finishing FY2 we'd have to apply for job permit, and employers are allowed to hire non-UK/EU citizens only when there is no one with a UK/EU passport who can fill the post. Even if we do get the job, work permit lasts only for the duration of the employment, afterwards the whole job application process repeats and work permit has to be acquired all over again.

If that doesn't stink, I don't know what does.

So, being discouraged by what's happening, my plans changed again. I'm going back to Malaysia. Those who are staying are either hoping to save some money before going back (to buy a car, a house, get married..that sort of thing), and some want the GMC registration before going back.

The GMC registration sounded attractive at first. But then I asked myself : will I ever use/need it? Now that prospects of postgraduate training in the UK are very slim, what do I need the UK GMC registration for?

One reason why I want to go back quickly is that since I'm most likely to go postgraduate studies back home, it helps to get into the civil service earlier to those who are staying behind. As it is now, my peers in Malaysia are already in their 1st year of housemanship. And back home, seniority counts (salary-wise, career progression-wise). And with the government sending SO MANY students to do medicine worldwide, as well as having medical schools practically in every state in Malaysia, I can foresee an major influx of doctors in the near future. Better get into the race sooner than later.

I've informed my medical school of my decision of not applying, and an email was sent to me and several other Singaporean students who've had job offers from Singapore, stating that :

"if, at a later date, they (i.e. non-UK/EU graduates from UK medical school )want to return to the UK to practice or undertake clinical research, they will find it very difficult – despite full registration with their home GMC or equivalent body - to update their UK GMC registration from provisional to full. The GMC does not accept retrospective approval of PRHO posts and also does not allow UK graduates to undertake PLAB. Thus even if a UK graduate is fully registered with their "home" GMC or equivalent body they will have difficulties in gaining registration with the UK GMC on return to the UK."

Reading those words, I faltered.

Oh, I knew about it even before, but having those words coming from THE authoritative source made me doubt myself.

Not enough to change my resolve, but enough for me to question whether what I'm doing is right.

I'm supposed to reply to the email, stating 'my intentions' and request for my name to be removed from the FY1 application process.

Do I burn the bridge now? Or simply wait for the application deadline to pass quietly?

With all my 'big talk', I'm not a brave person after all.

What is a typical Malay?

I have heard of (and also guilty of using) the phrase 'typical Malay' often enough.

What does being a 'typical Malay' mean? Saying to someone that he/she is acting like a typical Malay is akin to accusing him/her of being lazy, narrow-minded, short-sighted, too complacent, easily swindled, prone to petty jealousies....etc...

I was reading Nik Nazmi's thoughts about our Malaysian astronaut playing children's games in space, and someone accused him of (and I quote) "perasaan hasad dengki dan iri hati orang melayu kepada org melayu yang ingin mencapai kejayaan..Another ol typical malay!!!!"

Sadly enough, when someone uses that 'typical Malay' phrase others know exactly what he/she means.

The question is : how long are we going to stay 'typical'? The negative traits mentioned above (and more) are pathognomonic (using a medical term here, meaning diagnostic for a particular disease) for being Malay.

Doesn't anyone else think it is getting old? Malays acting 'typical' and other people accusing us of being so. Somehow it sounds worse than Chinese or Indian people being called 'typical Chinese/Indian' (whatever they mean).

As you can see, I rant a lot nowadays. Pre-exam fever has kicked in. Oh yeah.

More about Malaysian in space...from a non-Malaysian's point of view

My sister sent me this article by Michael Backman, an 'internationally renowned author and columnist' - While Malaysia fiddles, its opportunities are running dry. To read the article, click here

Also by the same author : read this

Bitter pills to swallow, and yet there's truth in them. I wish I have the resources to send them to every Minister in Malaysia; via email, snail mail, text message, voice message...heck, I'd even enlarge and paste them on every billboard available in Malaysia.

Someone MUST be made to listen. This has got to stop before we lose the last precious shreds of dignity we have left!! (Although at this point I even doubt its existence...)

Today's News....

I was reading The Star online (yes, I do keep up with news from home) and this piece of news caught my attention. (note : I've added comments in between...just to express my sentiments)

Malaysian's first astronaut to do what no one in space has done before -->why do I get a feeling it's gonna be something silly?

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysia's first astronaut will do what no one in space has done before: play traditional Malay children's games without gravity. --> yup, I was right

The astronaut - yet to be selected - will play "batu seremban,'' or "five stones'' and spin traditional Malay tops in space--> WHAT THE...???!!??, Agriculture Ministry parliamentary secretary Rohani Abdul Karim told parliament on Wednesday.

Rohani, who was replying on behalf of the Science, Technology and Innovations Ministry, said the astronaut would also do batik painting and making teh tarik-->errm excuse me, but HOW does this benefit anyone?? Roti canai takde ke? Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a zero-gravity environment, won't the teh tarik fly everywhere? The Russians might be a bit peeved for messing up their space station...you know, nanti lekit and the space ants will come in no time.

She said this in reply to comments made by MPs on what the Malaysian astronaut might do in the International Space Station.-->I'm sure they were expecting a more intelligent answer, but then I might be wrong....

Rohani said the training programme for the Malaysian astronaut in Russia would not cost the Treasury a single sen.--> and as such you think it's okay for the astronaut bearing Malaysia's name to make an intergalactic fool of himself???

Replying to Datuk Dr Marcus Mojigoh (BN-Putatan), she said the programme was provided free of charge as part of an offset programme for the purchase pf Sukhoi fighter aircraft from Russia.-->*snorts* was it a second-hand plane? (probably the Russians felt bad for swindling us so easily and offered the programme to make amends)

She said the benefits of the programme for the country were numerous, including the opportunity to conduct scientific experiments in space.--> yeah, so why don't we?? If we actually are I'm sure people are more interested to know about that than making teh tarik and play batu seremban

Such experiments will also be studied by our own scientists in the medical, science and educational fields.

Schoolchildren will be further motivated to increase their interests in science and technology when our astronaut holds a live teleconference with students from several selected schools,” she said, adding that the astronaut would also conduct several experience on micro-gravity in front of the television camera.-->to be honest with you, schoolchildren will be interested in ANYTHING if there's a scholarship offer attached to it...don't have to go through to all the trouble of sending a man to space.

Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor and Kapten Dr Faiz Khaleed, who had been selected for Malaysia’s first astronaut programme, are now undergoing training for a year in Russia before departing for the International Space Station.-->what? a year to learn how to play batu seremban and gasing and make teh tarik? What do you need those doctors for? Might as well send a teh-tarik man and the johan kebangsaan in batu seremban to accomplish those things.

Only one of them will board a Russian rocket for eight days of space travel on Sept 2 next year.-->so, how do you choose? Undian SMS? My bet is on the better-looking one then...

***********************************

Reading ridiculous articles like this makes me so angry I want to cry.

Another piece of news from the same source:

TUN Dr Mahathir Mohamad, who is now recuperating from a mild heart attack, had received information that he would be booed if he attended the Umno general assembly. Mukhriz said his father had been booed before, even when he was still the party president...

*sigh* This is how we treat the person who's done so much for the country. Grown men playing schoolyard politics...they even act like children. We applauded him when he spoke out against the Western giants, but can't take it when we receive the same kind of treatment. I'm not saying he's always right, nor am I siding anyone but surely things can be solved by acting maturely. Not all this bickering that comes out in the papers. It's just downright silly.

Birthday reflections

Turning twenty-four makes me realize that:

1) I am old(er). Sigh. Wiser? Maybe not.

2) I will be thirty-four in no time. Ack!!

3) By UK standards, I still look twenty at the very most (wahahahahahahahah!*gelak evil*)

4) I can be just as childish as I was ten years ago, but with more serious consequences.

5) I feel comfortable going out without fussing about my appearance like I used to a couple of years ago. (Yes, yes, I have my share of vanity, so sue me).

6) Lots of my friends have gotten married/engaged to be married. My sister started her "I was engaged at twenty-four" spiel officially today, joining my mom who started a while back. Sigh..nantilah ye...

7) My biological clock is ticking. Caught myself a few times looking at adorable babies thinking "I want one of those..."

8) I want to graduate and get out of medical school!!

9) There are some people you went to school with that you never dreamed you'd be close to after leaving school. Surprisingly, they are now your closest friends.

10)I rather spend the night talking to a few close friends than go out gallivanting with a large group of people

11)I sleep no later than 12am. It's almost impossible to stay awake after that time.

12)There are quite a few things I regret doing. Wish I had done things differently

13)There are a few crazy things I wish I had done when I was younger.

14)Most of all, turning twenty-four makes me realize that every second of my life has been a blessing, and I have so much to thank God for.

Dusting the cobwebs

Berposing di pagi raya...

Yes, this blog has been neglected for quite sometime.

No, I've not been kidnapped by aliens and having my internal organs rearranged. Am very much alive and well. Thank you for wondering (or not).

It's not too late to wish Selamat Hari Raya! Hope your Eid was a good one. My last Eid away from home (insyaAllah), am looking forward to celebrating Raya in Malaysia once more with great expectations.

Final exams are looming over the horizon, 12 weeks to go! Even yours truly, who usually is a last-minute crammer is starting to feel the heat. Having exams is one thing, but the thought of being a full-fledged doctor by August positively terrifies me. It IS a welcome change, after being in med school for 5 years and 2 years IB before that. Most of my friends have started work ages ago. But I hate change. At the same time I look forward to it as well.

Another reason to be intimidated is because I'm planning to work Malaysia once I graduate. Having medically trained in English, my Bahasa Melayu comm skills is gonna stink big time. You might see me saying the following a lot:

Anxious relative : Bagaimana keadaan dia, doktor?

Me : (In my white coat, looking at clipboard). Keadaan dia stabil. Tapi dia perlu banyak berehat.

Or........

Anxious relative : Bagaimana keadaan dia, doktor?

Me : (coming out from the operation theatre, in my scrubs, slowly shaking my head at the patient). Kami telah cuba sedaya upaya. Bersabarlah, ini semua kehendak Tuhan.

Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!

All the times I laughed so hard at those corny lines in Malay films/drama!! It's gonna come back to haunt me!

On a different topic altogether, for those who are on Friendster, have you noticed that it has turned into a site for new moms and dads to showcase their offsprings, and for married/engaged people to show others how happy they are?

Is it just me or did you notice it as well??

The ranks of single people of my age are thinning. Fast. How depressing is that? (Of course I'm happy for them, just saying that I'm not getting any younger. Gonna be over the hill before I even realize it).

That's life, I guess

As soon as I say I won't be blogging often, here's another entry.

Typical.

Been hooked on youtube this weekend. Saw Lea Salonga's (now Lea Salonga-Chien) wedding in 2004 video, I LOVE the song she sang to her husband!! *sigh* What a dream. Her husband actually cried (kinda cute actually..who wouldn't?).

Also watched Les Mis in various languages on youtube. Now I SO wanna go around the world and watch all the Les Mis production there is!

(Since $$$$ is not unlimited, I guess there's plenty of room to dream....)

Yana, let's GO!!! We'll sing along every show!!

It's been a long time since my last post.

Been busy with final year (yes, I'm a finalist!!). The big exams will be in Jan-Feb, so no time to play much.

Before I go into hibernation again, just wanna share this video I found on youtube.com. It's hilarious!

Till next time

With love,

Hani

Hooked on...

ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA

(Heck, I wasn't even a rock fan before this)

Now THAT'S what I call a reality-tv show full of talents!!

A Picture Says a Thousand Words....

This is for Azureen's Mak Su in Australia :

She sends her love and lots and lots of wet kisses!! (Believe me, they ARE wet!)

Back in Malaysia

Alhamdulillah, dah selamat sampai

Had a really good flight home, I got upgraded to Business Class!! (hehe..*gelak evil*)

Been spending time at home with Azureen, she's quite a handful but TOTALLY ADORABLE! Pictures later.

In the meantime, my hp number while in Msia is 017-3575130. Sesape yang nak pegi berpoya-poya, panggillah saya, ye?

One more!!!

Three down, one more to go!!!

OSCE 10-min stations this afternoon.

And then.......habis!!!

*dances a little jig around the room*

Ermm...on a sober(er) note, hopefully I'll do okay...bab2 bercakap under pressure nih yang susah sket...

Countdown...

5 days before my OSCE exams

6 days before I'm free from the shackles of 4th year medicine (to be fair, it's the best year in med school, but it feels too long..). I hope all goes well with the exams. For what I've done for the written exams, the most I can do now is tawakkal and make dua' that I did allright. InsyaAllah.

And in 9 days' time....I'm going home!!! Can't wait!!!!

I know, I know, for a person who goes back at every opportunity I shouldn't be missing home as much as other people. But I do. Can't do anything ab0ut that.

I Believe in You : Il Divo with Celine Dion

I love this song!!!

p/s : you know the guy on the far right? Don't you think he's beautiful? (as in, pretty boy kind of beautiful...and what a voice!!)

World Cup 2006

It has officially ended.

The Azzurri won.

France played well, but they got unlucky. (Zidane : WHAT were you thinking???!!!)

But the most important thing is : ITALY WON!!!! Woooohoooo!!!

Between the devil and the deep blue sea

Firstly, I just like to say :

I've finished my SSM, 3 weeks before the deadline. Go me!

Well, technically I have. Just have to fix the intro and conclusion a bit, and do my references properly. Have sent the draft to my tutor. Hopefully I won't have to change too much, insyaAllah.

It's a good thing I've finished it too, since I SO have to start revising for my exams. It's next week, by the way. So spending the next 8 days doing nothing but revise and sleep and sleep and more sleep (hey, I need to consolidate my memory okay! Ask any neurologist!)

Neways, had an interesting incident last Friday. Had my revision lectures in Mile End, so after it finished I took the bus back to halls. It was packed, but I managed to squeeze into the back door (it's the long n bendy no. 25 bus with 3 doors). Near the door stood this guy (let's call him Mr X) probably in his twenties, who had weird tics and he was making strange movements and gestures and had conversations with persons only he could see. Since I just finished my psychiatry rotation, I think that Mr. X probably had a schizo-affective disorder, who had not been taking his meds for a while. He kept jumping off the bus whenever the door opened and then jump back in, making Michael-Jackson-like movements.

Moving on with the story, the bus was packed. It was really hot. There were lots of preschool children making lots of noise. I tried to get as far away from the strange guy as I could. At a particular bus stop, a guy with a small dog wanted to get down. Had to push a lot of people, and I had to move closer to Mr. X. And then before the guy with the dog could get down, the door closed and the bus moved again.

So there I was, trapped. With Mr. X right in front of me and the dog near my right foot (I have nothing against dogs, I love to look at them, but you know la, kalau pape susah la nak samak). And Mr. X kept jumping up and down. The dog was restless. I couldn't move.

Then Mr. X suddenly turned around and gave me a smile. I gave him a constipated grin, I think. At that moment, I thought, I'd rather take my chances with the dog. Luckily at the next bus stop Mr. X jumped out for good, as did the guy with the dog...but wait! There was not only one, there were two dogs!! The other one was probably behind me. I was properly cornered. Good thing I didn't notice the other one.

Ah well....

Okay, moving on. Saw 'Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest' today. It was SMASHING!!! Probably the most entertaining movie I've seen in a while. It was so good, I didn't even mind the fact that annoying Keira Knightley was in it (WHAT'S with her and the pouty-lower-lip thingy?? Was that supposed to be sexy??). Amazing effects, really good adventure story, really funny, albeit a dark sequel to the first one, but much much better.

It ran for 150 minutes, just the right length. It didn't feel too short like X-Men 2 (I remember thinking "Was that it?") nor was it too long like Lord of the Rings 3 (I was practically dancing in my seats - my bladder had passed its maximum capacity). Great, great music score.

So if you were contemplating whether or not to go, contemplate no more. GO NOW!!

The downside of it all is the fact that we've got to wait until next year for the 3rd instalment to be released (although they filmed it back-to-back with the second one, kinda like LOTR).

Oh, bugger.

To Germany : Muahahahahahahahah! *gelak evil*

Viva italia!!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brazil lost!!!

*wails*

whywhywhywhywhyWHYYYYYYY??????????

well, I know why, so you don't have to point it out to me (seriously, DON'T), but even so, I was hoping....

*sigh*

frust giler seh.

heck, I'm not even a football fan usually.

p/s : despite their lost against Portugal, I thought England played well. It was a shame it ended as it did...

I'm (not) what?

You are 28.57% jealous!

For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.

524789 people have taken this test to date.

This percentage means that :

You have very few jealous traits.

You rarely over-react and have a handle on the severity of situations.

Whatever jealous attributes you do have will not present a problem in relationships, and will sometimes help.

******************************

**Eh, macam sikit je...

if you want to find out about yourself, click here

Psychiatry no more

This week's the last week of my Psychiatry rotation.

Had my last ward round last Tuesday. I got to write in the notes again. The SHO was on leave so I took over (hehehe...*gelak evil*).

At the end of the ward round, sat down with the consultant for assessment and signing of my log book.

The consultant was really nice. He actually wrote in my logbook 'excellent social graces'. Well, for my lack of knowledge I have to make up somehow by being enthusiastic.

It WAS a good firm. I'll miss each and every patient there, crazy or not.

It was one of the best rotation I've had this year. I still want to do Obs&Gynae, but I think I'll take up Psychiatry as a special interest.

What keeps me going...

**4th year med is just too long. Can't wait to go home. **

1) The thought that I'll be home in a little bit more than a month

2) Thoughts of Azureen and my parents' reports of her progress. Video clips of her that I took whenever I was home help a lot

3) That midnight phone call

4) The thought that I'd be seeing that someone after 11 long months

5) My next-door neighbour (also my best friend, my ex-classmate, my ex-roommate), who knows me more than anyone else (in many ways)

Weddings....

Wow.

That's all I can say.

There are SO many weddings!

Everyone I know got married/is getting married this year!

Is it something in the air? Something in the water?

There are nine so far....I suppose I can expect more.

Don't get me wrong, I adore weddings, and I'm glad that everyone who's getting married is doing so...I wish them all the happiness in the world.

Just astounded by the sheer number, I guess. I'm also painfully reminded of my age...well, 23 (ok ok..24 this year) is not old, but that's about the time pressure sets in, isn't it?

Ok...it's scary.

Being grown-up doesn't seem like a good idea at the moment.

Better be prepared to dodge nosy questions from nosy makciks this summer hols....

Comic relief

As I was blog-hopping, wasting time (as usual), I found sth on someone's blog. Twas quite funny. And since my own blog has been filled with my teenage angst (although I'm not a teen anymore I sure feel like one, so just go along with me on this one) I thought that it'll be nice to lighten the blog a bit with this little piece...enjoy!

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You might like this. This is hilarious... even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with... 1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

When she was bad....

Finally recovered from perpetual 'crabbiness', all is bright and beautiful again *grins*.

Had psychiatry lectures today. It. Was. So. Boring! For the first lecture, the consultant was quite pleasing to look at *winks* but even that didn't help save the lecture. Or perhaps it has something to do with the late-night marathon I did...hmm...

After the first lecture, one of my friends wanted to get her ticket to go back home for the summer. Since I knew I was gonna sleep anyway if I stayed, I decided to accompany her. (What?? I was SO going to sleep, and besides, I haven't been to Central London in ages! And they have the lecture handouts online, so it wasn't that bad, was it?)

So off we went, had to go to two travel agents to find a decent deal. After that we stopped at my favourite shoe shop - Clarks!!

The only reason why all my shoes over here are Clarks shoes is because their shoes are some of the most comfortable I've ever worn. And my feet are kinda fussy about shoes. I needed some summer footwear.

I saw one casual wear I've been eyeing for a couple of weeks, so I grabbed that pair in about 5 minutes. Paid for those at the counter, and then my eyes fell onto another pair - oh! They're so pretty!! Tried them on - VERY comfortable heels. Looked at the price. Hmm. It was ok (a little bit pricey but still not too bad) but then I'd already bought a pair. Had to think. Went walking around the shop with the shoes for about 5 mins. Then I felt a bit conscious since one of those guys working there kept looking at me with the shoes, asking if I've made my mind up. So I took them off. Walked around somemore with the shoes in my hand. Ignored the guy. Then I thought "Oh, what the heck" so I marched to the counter and told the cashier firmly "I'll take them".

Now I have 2 more pairs to add to my collection (not that they're THAT many, compared to other people I know, they need a whole cupboard to keep all their shoes!). Mine is just lined up near my door.

So yeah, I've been a little bit naughty today...didn't go for lectures, spent quite a bit...

I promise I'll be very good from now on...

VERY, VERY good.

**This post has been removed**

The Cuckoo's Nest??

Started Psychiatry early this week. Had lectures the past 2 days, and today was my first day on the wards.

2 students per firm, and I was assigned to the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (with another guy who's to be my firm partner).

Initial thoughts within 5 minutes of arrival on the ward:

"Double doors? Locked all the time? Hmm...."

"Where are the beds? Single rooms? Darn, they have it good here"

"Oookay...they are all males.."

"Ermm..why is that guy staring at us from outside the locked office?"

"What IS he doing?"

Had a tour around the ward, we were told to carry bleeps with alarms whenever we're there (security reasons, just in case..apparently the patients can get violent if you're not careful). Were told to always go in pairs whenever we wanted to see a patient.

Talked to a schizophrenic patient just now. Has quite strange delusions. He was found walking aimlessly by the policw on the motorway. He claimed he was 'on the way from Hell to Heaven'.

Mental illness aside, he was a really nice person to talk to. But dear God, I was trying so hard not to giggle or laugh. The other patients were really 'keen' to talk to us too...one guy actually requested to be interviewed.

I don't think I'd choose Psychiatry as a career, but this coming 6 weeks will surely be interesting...

I'm tired.

With everything.

The smallest things can frustrate me nowadays.

Looking at previous entries and judging from the current one, I haven't been my optimistic self for a long time. Haven't written anything worth reading for ages.

Sometimes I feel like leaving everything and run away.

I know this is a phase, and it will pass.

Till then, Lord, give me strength.

Thinking out loud

I don't know. I just don't know.

Everything's uncertain. I hate uncertainties. That's why I always choose the path where I can see the end point.

On the other hand, it's unfair to hope things will go my way.

I'm more than willing to go down the other road; but I need reassurance, anything that can convince me to make that move towards the unknown.

Update

It's been quite sometime since I wrote a proper entry in my blog. Partly because I've been lazy, mostly because I've been so busy.

Started Neurology module at Oldchurch Hospital. It takes approx. 1 hour to travel from my place. Have to take the tube, then the train, then a bus. It's been only 1 week, but travelling kinda wears me out. And I usually have to be in by 9 am (thus I have to get up at 7 latest to get ready) and arrive back at Floyer House usually abt 6.30 pm. The timetable's really packed, we hardly have time to clerk and examine patients. Have to do a minimum of 2 per week, even that is quite a challenge.

But having said that, I have to admit I asked for it. I applied for Oldchurch Hospital because my seniors said they have excellent teaching. And they do. If only we have more time to do things....

I've crossed out Neurology as a career option. I do like Neuro, but I can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life. Sat in during clinics today, and SO many patients come in with headaches and fatigue and pins and needles yada yada yada. Some of the complaints can be psychological. And consultation of each patient takes SO LONG! Don't think I have the energy to cope with that.

I think I'll stick to Obs and Gynae. Things are more structured and less complicated. You are either pregnant or you're not. You are either incontinent or you're not. Not so much grey area there.

So yeah, now I'm in my 2nd week of Neurology out of a total of 4 weeks. Next rotation will be Psychiatry, the branch of medicine I've struck off as a career option a long time ago. Can't listen to people talk for a long time, you see. I get restless...or even worse, I fall asleep! Nevertheless, I'm sure it'll be interesting an interesting 6-week rotation.

We'll see........

***************************

(this entry is for Kit)

Kit! I'm really sorry that I'll be missing your wedding. Wish I could be there, I always thought I'd be part of it too....

Apapepun, I wish you all the happiness in the world! Although I won't physically be at your wedding, please know that you have all my love and best wishes on that day!!

Tell Althie he better treat you right. Or he'd have to face me (and Amy too!). I'm sure he will, though ;)

Lots of hugs and kisses!

In love with.....

Michael Buble's 'You'll Never Know'

Well, it's not exactly his song. The song's been around for quite sometime. Frank Sinatra sang it, Barbra Streisand sang it. But I gotta say, Buble's rendition gave me goosebumps.

::You'll Never Know::

Darling, I'm so blue without you
I think about you the live-long day
When you ask me if I'm lonely
Then I only have this to say

You'll never know just how much I miss you
You'll never know just how much I care
And if I tried, I still couldn't hide my love for you
You ought to know, for haven't I told you so
A million or more times?

You went away and my heart went with you
I speak your name in my ev'ry prayer
If there is some other way to prove that I love you
I swear I don't know how
You'll never know if you don't know now

You'll never know just how much I miss you
You'll never know just how much I care
You said good-bye, no stars in the sky refuse to shine
Take it from me, it's no fun to be alone
With moonlight and memories

*this is Frank Sinatra's version. Other singers usually leave the 1st and 4th verses out. Can't imagine why.

Arrrrrggggghhhh!!

Why am I so restless?

Been surfing the net aimlessly for hours, coz I can't focus

Must be having withdrawal symptoms...I miss home

Can't even sit and read for five minutes!

I think I'll go and cook something...chop some things up

Chop things up....hmmm....that sounds like a good idea....

Random thoughts (or, not-so-random..)

1. Back in London

2. Bummer!

3. Why does London seem so alien to me for the first time in four years?

4. I'm actually finally doing my essay (three cheers for me!!)

5. Wonder what Azureen is doing right now?

6. I miss Baskin Robbins' Banana Royale with strawberry topping

7. Can't wait to graduate

8. After graduating....what?

9. Laundry - ack!!

10. Can't wait to leave this country for good

Hello.

I'm back in Malaysia.

Hehe, I know, I can hear you say: "Again??"

Well, I had 4 weeks of nothing to do in London, what was I supposed to do there?

Neways, had a little bit of money saved for times like this one, so I bought the ticket home.

And also, I was starting to miss Azureen a little more than a bit.

When I saw Azureen at the airport last Thursday, she looked at me appraisingly (at least that was what it felt like) and then extended her arms out to me.

Heck, I'd spend triple the ticket price for that.

Here's her latest photo:

She really is the cutest little girl of her generation. Hehe.

Been lazing and idling around so far, I still have my SSM essay to do. After the ordeal I went through with my 3rd Year SSM, I am determined not to go through the same headache again. So I'm gonna officially (re)start today. I'm telling you this so that I will actually start; it's harder to lie to other people than yourself. At least, in my case.

Went back to SM Puteri yesterday. Mak called from school and said that an O&G consultant was giving a talk to the students. Went there coz I figured she'd be a good person to get career advice from. She gave a lecture on gynaecological problems. It was quite a good one, but the Q&A session had me floored. The students were asking questions about labial piercings and torn hymens and how to (surgically) restore it and masturbation!! What the....!!!!???

Things have DEFINITELY changed since I left school. I don't think anyone in my year ever thought of such things to ask! I'm pretty sure that a number of us at that age were still ignorant of such matters, while the 'enlightened ones' wouldn't dream to raise such issues in front of 200-odd students and 15 teachers.

I'm starting to feel too old (fashioned)....

After leaving the school, I decided to go to Jaya Jusco in Seremban 2. It was opened late last year, thought I'd go and see what it had to offer.

The place is quite all right, although looking at the facade you'd expect more stores inside. But it's okay, we now have TGV and another bowling place and MPH (YAY!!!). Went to MPH, wanted to look for a book highly recommended to me; 'The Sealed Nectar' by Safi-ur-Rahman Al-Mubarakpuri. It's a biography of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. and it won first prize at the worldwide competition on the biography of The Prophet in 1979.

Neways, as I was saying, I saw the book, and when I placed the book on the counter, the cashier (who was an Indian lady) took a look at the book and asked me "Ni Quran ke?"

I was a little bit confused at first, and then I caught her meaning. When I said "No" she then proceeded with the transaction (with calligraphy on its jacket, I suppose the book does look similar to the Quran on the outside).

The point I'm trying to make is that I felt quite touched by her sensitivity. We live in a multi-cultural society, but how much do we know about the people who are of a different race and religion from us?

The Malays - well, since we are the majority in this country, chances are people know our taboos, our dos and donts e.g we don't eat pork, only halal meat, and other cultural and religious needs. But how many of us Malays are aware about the needs of other races? I still come across Malays working at eating places who don't know that Indians don't eat beef and kick up a fuss when they are politely told so.

Sensitivity is great, as long as it applies to us.

Does that sound fair to you?

Ah well....that's just me saying. Other people may have other thoughts regarding this matter, this is mine.

That's quite enough I think...

*OUCH*

Went to a roller-skating rink for a friend's birthday today. Never skated before in my life, I have one of those moms who says 'no' to almost anything.

Now I know why.

It wasn't as easy as it looked. Spent most of the first half-hour clinging to the railing. After that, I could actually skate forwards, but the problem was I didn't know how to stop.

Fell down quite a few times. I think I set a new record for that place. Fell on my rear end a few times, once I even collided with another person. Another time I fell on my left leg, I felt something cracked. Probably I pulled a ligament or two.

I am SO gonna be sore tomorrow.

That experience was like a reality check for me. I liked to think that I'd be able to do anything, learn new skills easily. Although I'm sure I'd be able to do it if I practiced long enough, but the fact that I'm not a very fast learner is a very sobering thought.

Ah well, so I won't be able to make it for the cast of Starlight Express. I guess I'm just one of those people more suited to have both feet planted firmly on the ground.

Tagged!! (yet again..)

Hello kids! (I know, I know, most of you people are old enough to be mak and bapak orang, but don't be offended...just humour me okay?)

Post-Human Development exam, I am still alive. How did it go? I have no idea. It was one of those strange papers where they asked the most trivial things. Just hope I did okay.

Neways, having 1 week of lectures now...kinda boring to be honest - with all due respect to the lecturers of course...it's just that ENT is not my thing. Snotty noses and waxy ears. If you're a medical student / junior doctor, and you're deciding on which area you want to specialize in, I've been told that you're supposed to choose something that doesn't gross you out. Yes people, it's not merely blood we have to deal with. There are other bodily secretions and a few other bits and pieces. For example, if you're comfortable looking at patients' sputum pots, then you can consider respiratory medicine. If you can look up people's as*es and still maintain your dignity, hey, we'll make a colorectal surgeon out of you!

Oookay, I'm sure most of you are put off already. So we'll move along swiftly. Sorry folks, if you mix around people in the medical profession long enough you'd notice that they'll bring their work wherever they go; at the dinner table, family gatherings, in conversations with random strangers. As long as there's an audience. It's just that we tend to think that other people are just as enthusiastic about the topic as we are, no matter how disgusting. These last 4 years, I've learned that no one in my family can stand the descriptions of the gory side of medicine, nor are they interested in it. So I've decided to keep my enthusiasm to myself.

Sheesh, it's like I'm having verbal diarrhoea or something (not exactly verbal la, since I'm typing them down). Neways, as the title suggested, I've been tagged! Kit's the culprit. So here goes....

Tag : 4 Things

4 jobs
1) Mak's secretary
2) Everyone's driver
3) Everyone's errand-girl (or woman, whatever)
4) Azureen's photographer

4 movies I love
1) Meet Me in St Louis
2) Lord of the Rings Trilogy (I don't care..this counts as one)
3) Robin Hood : Men in Tights
4) P. Ramlee's Bujang Lapok Series and Sarjan Hassan (I don't care!! They count as one as well!!)
**This goes to prove that doctors can't count..

4 places I've lived
1) Terengganu (I was born there...don't remember much for obvious reasons)
2) Klang, Selangor
3) Sabah
4) A private halls of residence down the road. In my 2nd year

4 tv shows I love to watch
**I hate it when they ask this question. It's assumed that EVERYONE owns and watches tv. I don't have a tv here..only watch tv when I got back to Msia. But to answer the question:
1) Whose Line is it Anyway
2) CSI
3) CSI : Miami
4) Lonely Planet. When it's Ian Wright

4 places I've been on vacation
1) United States of America (California, Florida)
2) Australia
3) Egypt
4) Indonesia (I do go to countries in the SE Asia region...)

4 blogs I visit daily
1) Kit-and-Althie's
2) Kenny Sia at kennysia.com. That bloke can really write!
3) Afdlin Shauki's blog
4) hmm sape lagi ye?

4 favourite foods
1) Mak's chicken rice!!
2) Tom Yam
3) Mak's laksa johor
4) Ayam berlada

4 places I'd rather be..
1) Home
2) Home
3) Home
4) Where the heart is..(apart from home la...)

4 albums I can't live without
1) Michael Buble's self-titled album
2) Kumpulan Vokal Berharmoni album (hehe...what can I say..)
3) Sudirman Dwidekad
4) Francesca Peters' Suara Rindu Fran

4 vehicles I've owned
1) Ermm...basikal
2) Basikal
3) Basikal
4) Kelisa (which is technically my sister's, but I share it with her)

4 taggees
Ermmm...
1) Peah
2) Yatt
3) Niesa
4) You!

Jalan2 cari makan....

Been having GP attachment beginning this week...thursday's the last day (it's technically today, since it's already 1.45 am..). Wednesday's half day, the afternoons are reserved by the college for sports activities, regardless whether you're inclined to do it or not...no prizes for guessing my preference..hehe..

Neways, since I had the afternoon off, my mind began to think of ways of keeping myself occupied for the day. Nevermind the exam on Friday, I just had to take a break...

And I decided to go to Central London. Purely because the on the previous night just before I fell asleep I felt like eating chinese fried rice with sweet sour chicken at Chopstix.

You might wonder why I actually travelled 45 minutes on the bus for a Chinese takeaway...well I wonder myself. Must be my upbringing. Growing up, I remember the whole family going on a long trip just to eat something.

1) Before Pizza Hut came to Seremban, my parents took my sisters and I to Malacca whenever we felt like having pizza. We would then stop by at Jusco on the way home coz my mom loves the danish bread there. Apart from Malacca, we used to go to The Mall in KL.

2) Ming Court Hotel in Port Dickson had the best ice kacang ever!! We'd go to PD during hot afternoons to treat ourselves. Don't know what happened to that hotel. Last I heard it was closed for renovation

3) There was a time when we'd go to KL just because we wanted to eat steak at Victoria Station.

4) Oh yes! Nasi daun pisang in PD Golf Club...one of our frequent haunts these days

5) Port Dickson again....on Saturdays or Sundays we used to go to this particular stall for breakfast..they have the best nasi lemak ever

Come to think of it...it wasn't so much because of the food...it was the family trips that mattered..

Just about enough

To be perfectly honest, I feel that Paeds is the attachment (so far) that I've enjoyed the least.

Strange, the one specialty I had been planning and dreaming to do eversince I decided to go into medicine, it let me down.

Or rather, I've let myself down.

Maybe it's because of the circumstances, I didn't really enjoy the hospital rotation. It was done in such a way that you don't have any particular attachment to the department. Perhaps it's also because I had such an amazing time in O&G that when I started Paeds, it did not meet my expectations.

Don't get me wrong, paediatrics itself is an interesting subject.

But then, why do I wake up in the morning, trying to find excuses not to go for lectures although it's just 2 minutes' walk away? I still attend, of course, but more often than not, I sit there being (overly) critical of the lecture, and feeling cross at the same time.

I know I'm over reacting, but I cannot help it, no matter how many times I try to psych myself up, trying to be optimistic.

You see, I'm one of those people who can't change their minds about something once they've made their mind up. VERY unfortunate.

Disappointment was the first emotion I felt when I started this rotation. And it stayed that way, mostly because my mind refuses to see the silver lining around the dark cloud.

I've had just about enough. With the rotation, and with my negative attitude.

Not again!

Yup, changed how my blog looks. Not that it makes any difference, but self-satisfaction is important, u know..

Have O&G and Paediatrics exams on 17th March, which explains why I suddenly have the burning desire to blog + change the template instead of studying.

Can't wait to go home.

It's 2:19 am. I better sleep.

Had a late night last night (don't ask me why, coz I'm not gonna answer you..you may guess though *winks*) and I set my alarm to wake up early, had resus training skills at 9 am. Tengah sronok2 tido, had a nice dream even, I was woken up by a loud knocking at my door.

"Sapela yang datang pepagi bute ni..." I looked at my clock.

It was 8.33 a.m.

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I somersaulted off my bed onto the floor (hehe drama la sket..) and opened the door and told a much-surprised Shar "Go, go! Don't wait for me!!" (ala2 citer perang gitu...)

I got changed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, even had time to put on my contacts, packed my stuff. Ran from Floyer House to the bus stop in front of Royal London. Bus came just as I arrived (God is really great!)

Called Shar to ask where she was, and discovered I was only on the bus after hers. Met her at the bus stop, walked to the resus building.

I made it on time.

The duration from when I jumped out of bed to the time I got on the bus was 10 minutes. TEN FREAKIN' MINUTES!!

Well, if you're not impressed, I am. Me, who usually take 45 minutes on average to get ready in the morning.

Hehe I know what you Malaysian people out there think : "Tak mandi la tu" with smirks on your faces. Well, darlings, nasib baik la kat UK ni sejuk lagi....so you can get away with not showering in the morning and not smelling like you haven't. Kalo kat Malaysia, alamat memang ponteng la kelas pagi....

Begitulah drama pagi ini. Sekian.

-TAMMAT-

Howdy folks! Here I am again, trying to avoid doing the Paeds essay I have to submit tomorrow. The progress? Abysmal. Nope, I'm not very enthusiastic when it comes to doing this essay. I find that the older I get (as I am INDEED getting older, like it or not), the harder it is for me to make myself do the things I don't like or do not want to do. Can't even bribe myself with chocolates or shopping trips or anything!

See, even I myself am having trouble to manage me!

I've heard people say, 'It's all in the mind', 'The only thing that's stopping you from going far is yourself,' yada yada yada. Well, they didn't say that to me la. Might as well actually. But it's usually one of those things those self-motivation gurus tell people.

Of course, those darn perky, sickeningly optimistic people are right. But that does not change anything. I am still sitting here after three hours (cumulatively), after chanting 'You can do it!! It will be over by tomorrow' for the gazillionth time, I haven't moved that very much.

Ah, well.....just have to do it v.e.r.y. s.l.o.w.ly I suppose. With me kicking and screaming and swearing as I go along. (Ok2, not swearing la...thought I'd dramatize it a bit more).

Found a little something of Friendster, someone posted it on the bulletin. With the thought of qualifying sometime in July next year (insyaAllah), this certainly does not lift my spirits any higher.....

*****************************************

Malaysian Govt Doctors Criteria

Criterias for becoming a Malaysian Govt Doctor.

There's no need for an aptitude test. Students should consider these requirements:

1. No life outside medicine; this includes dating, sports, clubbing, chores for your parents and
visiting the toilet.
**Even now I feel that I need a life!!!!!

2. Not to live with your parents. Move out ASAP as they will never understand the ludicrous working hours that u go through. Furthermore, chores are not suitable for u as to rule No. 1.

3. Not to be married until completion of all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service as u will be transferred left and right to some of the most remote Govt clinics in Malaysia. Having wife and kids to follow you to your new working area may increase high level of stress on all parties. Furthermore, if your spouse is a Govt Doctor, he/she will also be transferred away from u and
no matter what appeal is made, KKM will put up a deaf ear (unless u have big cables or of a certain skin color).

4. If married, not to have children until u finish all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service, as to
which u and your spouse will not have much time for your child/children or they end up not recognizing u and refer the Indonesian maid as their mother (change in language patterns commonly follow).

5. To obtain life insurance once your govt service begins as there is not many claims for accidents during work. Don't be fooled, Doctoring in Malaysia is hazardous.

6. Able to withstand 36 hours of non stop work and stress without mistakenly labeling Left for Right or uvula for vulva (or Volvo S40)

7. To buy a car with complete safety features (like I'm doing) which includes multiple airbags, ABS, EBD, side-front-rear-top-parallel and diagonal impact bars and seat belts to ensure survivability if u are involved in an accident because your driving resembled a drunkard maniac after working in the hospital for 40 hrs non stop.
**With the pay doctors get? Is that even possible??

8. Constant supply of coffee

9. Nicotine Patch as u will have the urge to start smoking due to overwhelming stress

10. Interest in watching medical sitcoms such as House MD, Scrubs, ER, Grays Anatomy and Chicago Hope to inspire u to continue your life as a doctor as the exciting things u see on TV does
not resemble the real life of a Malaysian govt doctor.
**This is true ANYWHERE actually. You don't see the doctors on tv doing hours of paperwork.

11. Not to have any pets or plants (not even cactuses) as u will have no time to feed or care for them and eventually all will end up in your mortuary.

12. Able to endure the stench of your own sweat as to when 36 hours "on call" does not permit u time to bathe or freshen up.

13. Able to carry on working without food or water over 15 hours. ( I was in OT for 16 hrs without food, water or bathroom breaks). If during fasting month, able to break your fast with water for injection as u had no time to buy food.

14. Able to come to work with fever/cough/illness or physical disability (sprained ankle etc) as to
which doctors do not deserve MCs. (My MO was on crutches during rounds)

15. Able to stand scolding, destructive criticism, kiss ass behaviors, racial bias, finger pointing, scape goating, and incompetency from your superiors.
**Sigh...this is one of the things I dread most. They treat junior doctors as if these people are less than human. How can we aspire to be a first-world country if we can't let go of our third-world attitude?

16. Able to withstand the jealousy when your friends call u up for some fun and ur stuck in the hospital during on call.

The list goes on. These requirements should be sent out to all doctor wannabes and for them to determine if their life coincides with the Malaysian Medical Health service of doctors under KKM. I LOVE THIS JOB!

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Uh huh....tell me something I don't know.....

A note from outerspace...

Hello everyone.

This page has been inactive for a while (yes, I warned you). For those who still come and check whether I'm still alive or not or whether I've been kidnapped by aliens, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I am still alive and kicking. As for the latter, the aliens found out that I'm an anomaly and I wouldn't represent the human species accurately so they decided not to kidnap me (the nerve!!). And I forgive you for the curses you muttered upon finding that my blog hasn't been updated for the one gazillionth time you've visited.

Was blog-surfing today - yes, although life's been busy, I've not taken leave from being a very kay-poh person, so I still know what's going on with people I spy on!-...where was I? Oh yeah, I was blog-surfing today, and then suddenly I miss my own blog. Thought I'd visit to say hi.

It's already February, where did all the time go? Must have sped forwards when I wasn't looking.

I made a career decision. To be exact, a career change. I want to do O&G. No more Paeds for me. I still love children, more than ever, but I don't think I want it as a career. Of course, the fact that I had the most fabulous time during my O&G placement might have something to do with it. Amazing consultants, amazing doctors, amazing midwives, amazing nurses. What more do you want?

Am actually doing Paeds at the moment. After the fast-paced O&G, Paeds seem paler in contrast. It's still nice to play with children, but I keep getting distracted by them anyway to notice the important clinical signs. So yeah, I don't think I'd be a good Paeds doctor although my rapport with children is great.

Went to the Royal Academy of Arts yesterday to see the 'China : The Three Emperors' exhibition. It was beyond words. You have to be there to understand. Really, it was one of the best I've seen.

Okla, dah penat cakap dah. Till next time!

Happy New Year!

December passed without a single entry. It's been a week since 2006 came. Goodness, I'm such an inconstant blogger.

Apologies friends, apologies.....haven't much time for blogging nowadays. Been busy living my life, I guess...not much time to impart my 'wisdom' or vent my frustrations here.

What's been happening this past one month and one week? Let's see....hmmm..had my Locomotor exam, learned a few dance steps here and there, made new friends, and most importantly, I WENT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!

And I didn't tell anyone abt it. Well, not many people. When it comes to keeping in touch with people, I'm the worst. Not that I don't think of them, I do..I'm just not one of those who call the whole neighbourhood to announce my homecoming.

Neways, went home for abt 10 days, had a BLAST! My niece is now approx. 9 months old, and she's SO ADORABLE!

Now I'm back in London, been 1 week already. Started O&G rotation, absolutely loving it! Have a brilliant consultant, one of those people who can inspire students to do better.

But of course, Paediatrics still rock my boat. O&G a close second.

Just wanna announce to you ppl out there faithfully checking my blog that I won't be blogging often (it's nothing new, I know, it's not as if I've been a regular blogger these days, just thought I'd make it official....lessens my guilty conscience I suppose..).

If you want to read nice blogs, go to my links section. Those people are fab!

Over and out!!

I have an exam coming up, and I'm nowhere near finishing my revision.
I have a project outline to hand in at 10 am tomorrow, and yet I'm still struggling to read through the journals.
My dirty laundry is spilling out of the laundry basket.
My room's a mess.

And yet, despite of all that, the world seems bright and beautiful. It's great to be alive!!

That sounds wonderfully optimistic of me, does it not?

Either that, or I've totally lost my marbles (which is most likely)

Ah, well...

A long overdue update

Hello kengkawan! Lamer tak update. So very sorry. Have been caught up with lots of things, and during that time all my modal + ideas for my blog remained only in my head. Jangan risau, you didn't miss much, it's the usual lawak kering and my cynical comments.

Neways, update!! Kenape tetibe nak update ni ye? Senang saje jawapannye. It's because I have Locomotor exam next Friday and I'm trying to get away from studying by doing other things (seperti biasala...korang takkan tak kenal yours truly by now!).

What's been happening this past month? (In chronological order - well, sort of)

1) Hari Raya Puasa

Masih lagi bulan Syawal kan? So I'd like to wish you people out there Selamat Hari Raya. Had a really great Raya this year, with lots of visiting and makan2 (biasala, kita kan org Malaysia). I would like to (regretfully) report that all the weight lost during fasting month have been recovered plus 5% interest (ehehe takpe...seluar masih muat lagi...)

Lepas solat Hari Raya at Msia Hall

2) I turned twenty- erm...one er..two..okay okay, twenty-three lah!

It's official. I'll be turning into a crone soon. Dah tua!!! (ehehe no offense kepada insan2 yang berumur 23+1, 23+2 dan seterusnya....)

"Eh alamak! Ade coklat jatuh ke?"

Since I'm 23 now, does it mean I have to start acting like a responsible person??

3) I played netball for Nottingham Games

For those who know me, I bet they're having cardiac arrests right now. You see, Azhani Akmar and sports had never been mentioned in the same sentence. You can only find the association between the two in the book of antonyms (figuratively speaking, of course). The only type of sport I specialize in is 'berenang gaya kuat lentang statik'. When I told my dad about it (netball, that is), he actually laughed! Now my dad is the nothing-more-than-smiling-when-it's-funny kind of person, but I actually heard a nice hearty laugh from him! Talk about parental support! (but then I guess Abah knows me more than most people...)

QMUL netball team and Westminster netball team

In my defence, it's not that I avoid sports like a plague, it's about finding the right people to do it with (ehehehe...alasan...alasan..).

Oookay! Next!!

4) I picked up gardening!

Okla, I exaggerated a bit. Received a flower pot of purple African violets, which are gorgeous! According to Terren (who gave me the violets) it's really easy to take care of, even a person like me can take care of it. Sure hope so. Even cactuses can die if put under my care...no kidding!

BUT, nevertheless, I am happy to inform that the violets are flourishing, I do water them religiously (twice a week so takla susah sangat) and to add to my collection I bought myself a pot of patio roses!

Couldn't stop myself. Saw them at a shop at Homerton Hospital. But I read that they can grow up to 2-4 feet...hmmm...macam maner eh...

Ah, who cares. We'll cross the bridge when we come to it.

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So yeah, that's the update for now...At the moment, am crazy over Malay songs..been downloading quite a few from jiwang.org...hai...inilah nasib orang di perantauan...bila dah jauh baru rindu lagu2 Melayu...

Short announcement

Yup, I'm back.

Did you miss me? (Rhetoric question, DON'T answer that. Really.)

Will write more soon (you can take it as a threat if you want).

Maybe in a few days' time.

Oh, well....

The Phantom Menace!!! (err..kitchen menace)

I guess you get them every year; those nutcases that think other people's kitchen utensils belong to the general public (What is this?? Communism???).

I thought what happened last year wouldn't repeat itself with new tenants in the flat. Looks like these people help themselves with pots and pans and whatnots that don't belong to them.

Don't get me wrong, borrowing is fine with me, AS LONG AS they wash them and put those things back from where they came from. AND if they took good care of them.

Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!! My non-stick periuk!!!!!! Habis calar!! *howls in frustration*

(If I knew the culprit, abis kena pelangkung hantu tu!!)

*takes deep breaths in and out* (Sabar Hani....bulan puasa.....)

If I believed in karma, I'd think that I did some unpardonable sin in the past.

Seven things to...

Hello people.

Back again. Been quite busy (ahah what else is new?)

Playing tag again, this time it's a bit different. Peah, thanks for tagging moi, kalo tak alamat tak di'update' la blog ni.

Neways, here it is!!

7 things you plan to do before you die

1) Go for hajj with with my own earnings

2) Travel around the world. Would love to see historical sites in China and India, also Egypt again.

3) Hopefully, insyaAllah, memorize more surahs from the Quran, if not all

4) Do my part to help starving children around the world

5) I want to learn ballroom dancing (weih, jgn aaa gelak!)

6) Learn one or two other languages

7) Skydive

7 things I cannot do

1) Stay awake during lectures (yeah! it's true!)

2) Lie. Susah giler. Mesti terkantoi

3) Hold a grudge for long. No matter how bad that person is.

4) Having said the above, if I don't like someone, it's very difficult to change my opinion

5) Sit still for a long time (No 1 of this question a good example)

6) I can't skate (though I wish I could)

7) Wear high heels for long. My feet would kill me! I don't know how other women do it!

7 things I can do

1) Balance things on my head. No matter what shape and size (as long as tak berat sangat la)

2) Use utensils with both my right and left hand (I'm a leftie)

3) Sew (ehehe Peah...saja jek taruh yg ni ;P)

4) Dance the waltz

5) Touch type

6) Sing all the songs from the musical 'Les Miserables'. If any of the actors fall ill, I'll probably be able to take his/her place (ahaha fantasi semata-mata). Oh yeah, also songs from 'Sound of Music'

7) I can remember the most nonsensical and useless facts in the world (e.g. what's Barbie's full name? And also what was the first phrase said on the phone by Alexander Graham Bell when it was invented?) and yet I can't remember simple things like people's names.

7 celebrity crushes

**This is a bit tricky. I can't recollect having crushes on celebrities, but I did have crushes on people/characters as below:

1) When I was very young = Prince Eric from Disney's 'The Little Mermaid'. Because he had dimples (pathetic giler kan?)

2) Luke Skywalker. I used to think that if I married him our children would be strong in the Force (isyk...fantasy..fantasy..)

3) Gilbert Blythe from 'Anne of the Green Gables' (played by Jonathan Crombie). My pre-adolescent crush...he seemed like the ideal guy to me at the time.

4) Adam Sandler's character in 'The Wedding Singer'. How can a girl not have a crush on a guy like that?

5) John Truitt from 'Meet Me in St. Louis'. Only when he wore the tuxedo.

6) Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth) from Pride and Prejudice. Enough said.

7) Ummm can't think of anyone else so I'll have to leave this vacant...

7 often repeated words

1) Busuk giler!

2) Gila ah Labu!!

3) Suke hati jek..

4) Tak senonoh betul...

5) Apekah??

6) Ooo yeke?

7) Ntah pape ntah

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex (in no particular order)

1) Smile

2) Eyes

3) Good rapport with people (esp. own family members)

4) Excellent rapport with kids (penting!!)

5) Gentleman-like behaviour (what can I say...I'm old-fashioned)

6) Character

7) Someone I feel I can respect

7 tags to go to...

1) Suedemokhtar

2) Raihan Rozlee

3) Yatt

4) Niesa

5) Kitte Pryde

6) TeaDrinker

7) Sesape yg terasa nak jawab soalan2 ni...

Ooooo iye ke....

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (73%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness (63%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun. Extraversion (36%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

trait snapshot:
secretive, organized, clean, rarely worries, solitary, high self control, dislikes large parties, prefers organized to unpredictable, prudent, observer, tough, self reliant, very good at saving money, introverted, perfectionist, mind over heart, not controlling of others, hard working, confident, resolute, solitary, does not make friends easily, finisher, does not like to stand out, very practical, intellectual, unsympathetic at times, honest, respects authority, follows the rules, cautious

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*ala korang....bagi chance la...skali skala nak boost ego sendri...*

Working weekend

I'm working this weekend (work, but no pay - the life of a medical student).

Yup, have to go to hospital for the 9-4 shift.

When you have to go in on Saturday and Sunday, you don't look forward to the weekend as you would do if you had both days off. Feels just like any other day.

And I tell you, it's NO fun.

People usually don't like Monday, coz that means the week has started and it's time to go to work after the weekend. Wednesday, well, that's when you feel that life is pushing you towards the edge of the cliff, but you console yourself that it's halfway through the week so things can only get better. Friday - everyone's favourite day (after Sat and Sun) because it's the last day before the weekend. Saturday + Sunday - favourite days of the week; the time you sit back and relax, doing whatever you want.

So when you have to work 7 days a week, there's nothing to look forward to! Every day is the same!

Suddenly realized the importance of weekends in keeping me sane. I want my personal time back!! (Please! Before I go crazy!!)

Well, actually this is my last working weekend for this rotation (ehehe saje jek melodramatic sikit tadi). Will be following the paramedics on the ambulance tomorrow...wheee!! (isyk...nampak benor ke'jakun'an ku yang tak pernah naik ambulance....neeenoooneenoo!)

Yup, I've gone mental. The day has finally arrived.

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

What's Your Blogging Personality?

'Long-winded' huh? I SO know what you mean. That sums up my personality quite well.

The cow jumped over the moon

Hello kengkawan,

The subject today takde kena-mengena dengan yg idup atau yg mati. Just thought of the phrase.

Started A&E rotation last Monday. Memula slow giler, tapi skarang agak best jugak. Saw some very interesting cases. Chaperoned for a VE the other day, am quite convinced that O&G is SO not my thing.

Doing night shifts today, and this coming Sunday, Monday and Wednesday.

Tiring, but fun