Hi. Just random thoughts

* Yes, I'm alive.
* Am in O&G department now. So far, so good..
* 4 months to finish housemanship. Yay!
* David Cook won American Idol 7. For once, America got it right!
* Can't wait for next month. Waiting for a silvery-blue object on wheels. Super duper excited! Finally my very own car!
* As Yana puts it, there are lots of things under the rug. Waiting for the time to sweep them clean (just hope I don't chicken out).
* You know what, I'm starting to believe that change IS good
* Or maybe I'm fooling myself again
* Either way I'm preparing myself. Come what may. I don't care. Well actually, I do. Either way I'll be damned if I let it get the better of me.
* Surprisingly, I'm happy. Most of the time. Although 'TIRED' is the operative word.
* It's surprising how you know someone so little after so long. Or maybe all this time you're just fooling yourself.
* Sometimes I do the things I do for the sake of self-preservation. Nothing against you, but I have to start looking after me. I'm tired of being considerate all the time.
* Gosh, this entry's going downhill. Let's think happy thoughts.
* I'm gonna watch David Cook again. =)

Song in my head

Escapism

I can listen to this song over and over again....

Strange, isn't it?...

....that you can hide unhappiness, even from yourself. You immerse yourself into whatever you're doing for the day, working non-stop until you have no time to sit down and think. After a while, you actually think that you're all right with everything...

...until you stumble upon a picture, a song, or a note..something that acts as a reminder.

Then it starts to feel like the world is crashing down.

Ignorance IS bliss. I prefer my former state of oblivion.

It's 30 mins past midnight and I'm still listening/watching David Cook.

I need help.

Just a short note

I know I more or less made a declaration that I won't be watching anymore American Idol after Melinda Doolittle was eliminated last season, but I just have to say that I LOVE DAVID COOK!

America, please get it right just this once.

Michael Johns wasn't too bad either, unfortunately he was eliminated.

Almost ending my surgical rotation, planning to take my remaining holidays for this rotation, will be blogging more then (hopefully)....

In the meantime, enjoy David Cook's version of "Hello"

Watching the world go by....

Hari ini adalah hari saya menyibukkan diri baca pasal update orang lain di laman Friendster dan Facebook. This is what I discovered:

2 friends got engaged
2 *possibly* engaged to each other (if my deductions are correct)
1 friend is expecting a baby
1 friend had a miscarriage
Quite a few have moved to other countries, looking for green (doesn't have to be greener) pastures

Being here in Kuala Pilah, I sometimes feel that I'm stuck in another world. Barely having time to read newspapers (honestly, kalau bom meletup pun mesti x perasan - unless there are patients admitted to Hosp. K. Pilah) I'm 'cut off from civilization', so to speak.

Reading about my friends make me feel as if time is passing by quickly; and I'm just a bystander watching from the sidelines.

Strange feeling, I can tell you.

Makes one feel left out, somehow.

No, it doesn't mean that I want to go in the same direction as they are going, it just feels like life's happening to them, and mine's just......static.

I need some excitement, quick. Somebody get me a ticket to an exotic vacation somewhere.

Damn..all this idleness is not helping.

February's post

My 3^rd week as a Surgical HO

So far, so good. Life’s not as hectic as when I was doing Medical rotation. But somehow, I miss the chaos of being a Medical HO. I guess it’s because I was just starting to get really comfortable doing what I was doing, and then it was time to move on.

Otherwise, I’m appreciating the relaxed lifestyle I’m having right now. We start early, but work so far hasn’t been too bad. Now I have time to sit down and catch up on my reading (the gaps in my knowledge are appalling). Weekends are mine unless I’m on call. I actually have time to go to the cinema, and interact with family members again.

Life’s good, alhamdulillah..

You know what would be absolutely divine? A trip somewhere, anywhere (to a place I’ve never gone before, that is). I see pictures of my friends on Friendster & Facebook on holidays around the world, makes me wish I went somewhere too. Just a week’s escape from normal daily routine. *sigh* Wishful thinking, I know. Oh well…

*Blinks* it's 2008 already??

2007 ended almost a week ago.

Happy new year to everyone (if it's not too late).

Haven't blogged for quite some time, been busy with you-know-what (work la..), and when I have off days I'm just too excited not to be working to blog (hahaha).

Read the messages some of you posted. So sorry I didn't reply to them, especially to Justin (if you're reading this). I've seen you down the corridors of Kuala Pilah Hospital so I guess your questions would've been answered by now. Hope you're finding working life okay. If you think life's good at HKP, wait until you get into the Medical department (hehe).

10 days to go before I join another department. Either O&G or Surgery. Haven't found out which one yet (never found the time to go to the office to check).

My 4 months' rotation in Medicine is almost coming to an end. I wanna say something shocking, although I realise after this revelation some people may advise me to get my brain scanned, or seek psychiatric treatment. You ready? Here it is :

I ACTUALLY ENJOY MY MEDICAL ROTATION.

Think I'm crazy, huh? Yeah, I think so too.

I'm gonna miss being a medical houseman. Although I won't miss the crazy on-call nights. And it seems to me that all these patients wait until the day (AND night..especially at night..or very early morning) when I'm on-call to come to hospital. My colleagues have good on-calls, there was one time when there were only TWO admissions for that day (jealous betul...I'm still jealous..). Moi? During my last on call I slept for only half an hour. Had eleven admissions that night,one after another. Good thing I had a good on-call partner who helped me out. Once I was just so tired that I put my pen and stethoscope down, declared to the staff nurse that I SIMPLY had to sleep or go bonkers.

Kena mandi bunga nih...

Otherwise, I'm quite happy. My MO told me that my boss praised me the other day. Being a houseman can make you feel overworked and underappreciated, so any good word (especially from your boss) goes a very long way. That actually keeps me going. (This is what we call 'positive reinforcement'. To all bosses/future bosses out there, remember that your subordinates need a positive word or two once in a while).

Work's not without its funny moments though. I had a schizophrenic patient in the ward who had a crush on me. He was always hanging around the ward counter whenever I was there doing my work. And I actually had a marriage proposal from him! Of course I said no, and then he declared that he'd remain single for the rest of his life.

It was kinda funny, but I became a bit wary of him after that.

Darn. I must be slipping, only crazy men want me.

Any sane takers out there??

Just kidding.

There was another funny incident involving another schizophrenic patient, but it's kinda embarassing so I won't share it here (but if you're curious, ask me personally and I'll tell you).

Well, 2007 has passed, welcome 2008! As the years before, I won't make any new year resolutions since it's simply a waste of time. I'd forget my resolutions the next day. Let's just wish for a good year, and may we improve ourselves in many ways.

I wish....

...I can go somewhere for a holiday, I badly need one. When I see pictures of my friends going places, I wish I could go somewhere too..

...I don't have to go to work during weekends..

...that I have more time to spend with family..

...that I don't have to answer phone calls with "I'm busy, can't talk now.." (That is, IF I actually answer those calls)

...I have more time for my niece, as it is I can't even let her sleep with me anymore..

On being a medical houseman in Malaysia

*Note : This entry is my opinion and my opinion only.*

Initially, when I first went to the UK I had the intention of coming back after graduating. Somewhere along the line, I thought it would be good if I stayed behind a few years until I finished the Royal College exams (whichever I decide to do). And then the UK government came up with immigration laws that made me decide to pack my bags and start fresh as a doctor after graduating from med school.

I'm currently doing my first posting in the Medical department at Hospital Kuala Pilah, considered as a district hospital. Whether it's any better or worse than the General Hospitals I don't know considering this is the first hospital I'm working at.

So far, it's been busy. To be honest, I haven't had time to do anything else. Last month I did EOD (every other day) on-calls for a month. I celebrated night before Raya being on-call. On Raya day I donned my baju Raya, visited a relative's house, went back home and slept. I woke up the next day and went back to HKP, and was on-call again. At sharp 12 a.m. on my birthday I 'celebrated' it with a patient who came in feeling breathless. Currently, there are 6 housemen so on-call days are approximately every third day, so it's not so bad. I haven't had time to read a story book and my niece is puzzled why I avoid sleeping with her whenever I come back during weekends (takut she wakes up at night & buat hal, I can't afford having interrupted sleep).

Being a houseman you have to do rounds during weekends so effectively you work 7 days a week (in the medical department, at least). You work like a dog, and sometimes you get treated like one. If you are lucky, you get nice MOs and consultants. Otherwise you get yelled at by your boss at least every other day, in full view of the nurses, patients and their relatives. After a while the skin on your face become so thick that whenever you get a scolding your mind automatically teleports you to a sandy-white beach, with you sitting on a nice deck chair sipping your favourite beverage...but at the same time praying that while you're having this nice vision of yourself the consultant doesn't end his tirade with a question that your didn't even hear because you were busy sipping iced lemon tea in your mind's eye.

When I first started, it was quite frustrating mainly because I had to adjust from being a medical student to a fully-qualified doctor, and to make things more complicated, in a different environment than the one I was trained in. I was just as ignorant a doctor as I was a student, the only difference is the MBBS certificate I now hold. I am still ignorant in many ways, there's so much to learn, but I AM learning.

Someone posted a question in the previous entry, "rasanye kalo lepas 2 tahun balik mesia, competent ke nak jd MO?" Maybe experience-wise you'll have a different exposure compared to doctors here, but don't discount yourself too much when you compare yourself to doctors here. Being a doctor, you learn new things all the time, and this lasts throughout your career (at least, that's what I think). And in this business of life-and-death, I take this approach : if you are not sure, you don't know what to do, ask someone who knows. Doesn't matter who. Sometimes when I don't know what to do and my MO isn't around, I ask the nurses for their opinion. Never underestimate the nurses. Many of them have years of experience under their belt and can be invaluable.

If you think that your peers in Malaysia have more experience, so what? You'll pick things up when you come back. Just don't be shy to ask. And make sure you maintain a good rapport with everyone.

Do I regret coming back here? No, I don't. (Although there are times I wish that I could just run away from all the work stress and lead the life of a lady of leisure...*sigh*)

p/s : to mr. scary_movie, actually abt prospect postgraduate studies tu, I'm still a bit clueless about it...nantila saya find out okay...

Sape nak kurus?

......jadilah houseman kat medical ward.

Weighed myself yesterday, lost abt 6 kg in 1 month. It's so scary!! My clothes all seem loose, the hemline of my jeans and slacks sweep the floor, my watch dangling on my wrist all the time.

Really exhausting work being a medical HO, I can tell you.

Just finished 2 weeks' worth of EOD (every other day) on call, my Raya didn't feel like Raya,
I only come back home to sleep during weekends, only to leave early in the morning for work again.

I love my job (I try to convince myself).

I said before, there are good days, there are bad days. But today I feel a bit whiny, so you hear the horror stories.

Don't think I'm cut out to be a physician. When you have to clerk a patient who comes in with diarrhoea at 3 am in the morning, you wonder perhaps it'll be better if you become a full-time housewife with a medical degree.

Well, I'm not seriously thinking it. At least, not really. No...not really.....hmm....

They say surgical rotation is much more fun. And O&G worse than general medicine.

I SO can't wait.

Speaking positively, I'm learning lots. I do make mistakes sometimes, but I pray all the time that it won't be at the cost of someone's life.

It's a life-and-death business after all.

It's been almost two weeks of working life, there's only one way to describe it:

*Penat gilerrrrrr sehhh!!!!!!!*

Hospital Kuala Pilah's not that big, but there are 3 medical wards (Yup, I'm doing my medical posting first) and I happen to be on the one that's always 'active' (meaning that it accepts patients everyday, rain or shine, contrary to the other 2 wards where they take turns being 'active' and 'passive').

It's been tiring, it's been fun. There are good times, there are bad times. There are times when you get scolded by the consultants, there are times when you joke with them. Same goes for the nurses...actually the nurses are wonderful on the ward..they've been the ones who watched over me.

So far, so good, alhamdulillah.

Someone named 'Anonymous' posted a comment in my previous entry entitled 'Posting', and this is my reply to you, whoever you are:

You said that you're 'selling [your]self extremely short working with people who were formerly [your] schoolmates and had very poor medical education in countries like Ukraine etc,and they were very substandard students in school'....let me tell you this, just because you go to a renowned medical school, where ever it is does not make you a good doctor by default. Just because I graduated from the UK, from the place where I brushed shoulders with the authors of 'Kumar and Clark' does not make me the best houseman that ever graced Hospital Kuala Pilah. Being a doctor means that you're a student for life, and learning does not stop the moment you graduate from medical school.

And seriously, you don't need to be an excellent student to be a doctor. Brains is not the only requirement, you need to be able to work hard and have interest in people. The people whom you think were substandard may one day be renowned doctors in various fields. One thing I learned is that it really doesn't matter who or how you were in school, and it doesn't define your future. It's how you build yourself up afterwards.

I'm sorry if I sound too critical, but one word of advice : don't come back to Malaysia with the mindset that everything here is 'substandard', be it people or how things are done. It's just different, we'd have to adapt, but it's true no matter where you go. True, there's a lot of bureaucracy here, people who are your superior in rank sometimes act like they're at the top of the social strata. Just give them no mind. Coming back with the misconception that you're better than your 'substandard' peers will cause a lot of damage, all of them to yourself. To put it mildly, you'd be 'fed to the dogs'.

So far, I've not regretted my decision to come back.

But hey, that's just me saying. And I just finished my 2 weeks 'tagging' period. Starting my first on-call tomorrow. Let's see if I change my mind afterwards.

On being blooming stupid

Waaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!

I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!

Make that an idiot and a half.

Why didn't I go?????

Been mentally cursing myself the whole day (considering it's fasting month, I didn't use the entire selection in the vocabulary, but you'd be surprised how many words were still left to be used)

Is there a hole somewhere I can crawl into and hang myself upside-down?

I really need to have my head examined.

Don't think I can forgive myself for this one.

Addendum 3.27 pm : How DOES one crawl into a hole and hang one's self? Yeah...I wondered myself after re-reading this entry. Explains my state of mind currently.

Today's SUCH a Jonah Day...

Posting

Dr. Azhani Akmar binti Azhar
No K/P : ******-**-****
(Alamat)

............

2. Tuan/Puan telah ditempatkan di Hospital Tuanku Ampuan Najihah untuk menjalani Latihan Siswazah di bawah ......... ..... selama satu (1) tahun mulai dari tarikh lapor diri dan satu (1) tahun lagi untuk menjalani "Obligatory Posting" ......... Sila lapor diri kepada Pengarah Kesihatan Negeri Sembilan pada 16 September jam 9.00 pagi

***(16 September?? Bukan hari Ahad ke tu? Sape keje? I'll report hari Isnin lah..)

***********

For anyone who wonders where that is, the hospital is in Kuala Pilah. In my application form I put only one option : Hospital Tuanku Jaafar (i.e. Seremban GH) and left the other two options blank. Quite foolhardy on my part, silap2 haribulan diorang hantar pergi Borneo (nasib baik tak, alhamdulillah).

To be honest, I don't mind the fact that I didn't get where I wanted originally. True, Kuala Pilah is abt 45 mins drive from home, and the road to K.Pilah through Bukit Putus isn't for the faint-hearted (2 lane woooo...dahla berkelok-kelok...kalah F1 punya circuit) but strangely enough I'm perfectly happy. The hospital pun takla besar sangat, looks kinda nice. Mak isn't too happy the fact that I'm starting waktu bulan puasa but hey, insyaAllah I'll survive.

Let's see if my optimism lasts.

Wish me luck! Your prayers are also appreciated.

p/s : They're building a highway to Kuala Pilah, bypassing Bukit Putus. That should cut down travelling time by half. Unfortunately the construction of the highway is still in its early stages. Perhaps I should send an appeal letter to Dato' Seri Samy Vellu to speed things up.

Without Love (OST Hairspray) - I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!

The movie 'Hairspray' is coming to Malaysia soon. Kinda late if you ask me, they've been playing it in the UK for quite sometime already. Anyways, WATCH THIS MOVIE!! In my opinion it's the best musical-turned-movie so far. All the songs are so catchy you won't be able to resist humming the tunes.

The plot outline is as follows (I'm too lazy to do it myself, so I nicked it from IMDB):

"Tracy Turnblad, an overweight teenager with all the right moves, is obsessed with the Corny Collins Show. Every day after school, she and her best friend Penny run home to watch the show and drool over the hot Link Larkin, much to Tracy's mother Edna's dismay. After one of the stars of the show leaves, Corny Collins holds auditions to see who will be the next person on the Corny Collins show. With all of the help of her friend Seaweed, Tracy makes it on the show, angering the evil dance queen Amber Von Tussle and her mother Velma. Tracy then decides that it's not fair that the black kids can only dance on the Corny Collins Show once a month, and with the help of Seaweed, Link, Penny, Motormouth Maybelle, her father and Edna, she's going to integrate the show.....without denting her 'do!"

If that doesn't convince you, consider this : John Travolta dressed as a woman.

Well, what are you waiting for?

The soundtrack's great, been playing the song below on my computer over and over and over again.

***********************************


~~Without Love~~
[Zac Efron, Nikki Blonsky, Elijah Kelly, Amanda Bynes]

Link
Once I was a selfish fool
Who never understood
I never looked inside myself
Though on the outside, I looked good!

Then we met and you made me
The man I am today
Tracy, I'm in love with you
No matter what you weigh
'Cause...

Link & Tracy
Without love
Life is like the seasons with
No summer
Without love
Life is rock 'n' roll without
A drummer

Tracy, I'll be yours forever
'Cause I never wanna be
Without love
Tracy, never set me free
No, I ain't lyin'
Never set me free, Tracy,
No, no, no!!

Seaweed
Living in the ghetto
Black is everywhere you go
Who'd have thought I'd love a girl
Whose skin as white as winter's snow

Penny
In my ivory tower
Life was just a hostess snack
But now I've tasted chocolate
And I'm never going back

Penny, Seaweed & Ensemble
'Cause without love

Seaweed
Life is like a beat that you can't follow

Penny, Seaweed & Ensemble
Without love

Penny
Life is Doris Day at the Apollo

Penny, Seaweed & Ensemble
Darling, I'll be yours forever
'Cause I never wanna be
Without love

Seaweed
So darling, never set me free
No!

Penny & Seaweed
I'm yours forever
Never set me free

Ensemble
No, no, no!

Link
If I'm left without my baby doll
I don't know what I'll do

Tracy
Link, I've got to break out
So that I can get my hands on you

Seaweed
And girl, if I can't touch you
Now I'm gonna lose control

Penny
Seaweed, you're my black white knight
I've found my blue-eyed soul

Seaweed & Ensemble
Sweet freedom is our goal

Link
Trace, I wanna kiss ya!

Tracy
Let me out at the next toll!

All
Without love

Seaweed
Life is like a prom
that won't invite us

All
Without love

Link
Life's getting my big break
and laryngitis

All
Without love

Penny
Life's a '45'
when you can't buy it

All
Without love

Tracy
Life is like my mother
on a diet

All
Like a week that's only Mondays
Only ice cream, never sundaes
Like a circle with no center
Like a door marked "do not enter!"
Darling, I'll be yours forever
'Cause I never wanna be...

Without love

Penny & Link
Yes now you've captured me

Ensemble
Without love

Seaweed & Tracy
I surrender happily

Ensemble
Without love

Penny
Oh seaweed
Never set me free

Penny & Seaweed
No, no, no

Tracy & Link
No, I ain't lyin'

Penny & Seaweed
Never set me free

All
No, no, no
No, I dont wanna live without

Penny
Love, love, love

Link
Yeah, yeah, yeah

All
Darling, you had best believe me,
Never leave me
without love!

Some things never change

It's 4.22 a.m., and I spent the last few hours watching 'Anne of Green Gables' and reading excerpts from the Anne series. Of all the books I have, none other can claim a hold on me stronger than the stories about the red-headed orphan girl. No, not even Pride and Prejudice (sorry Jane Austen).

After all these years, I still feel just as strongly as I did more than a decade ago about Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe. I still wear the same dreamy smile after finishing the last chapter of 'Anne of the Island'.

Some things never leave you.

Or perhaps, I am just as big a fool now as I was then.

There's sentimentality for you. Must be a sign of mental fatigue. I should sleep.

This time it's different

One and a half months since my last post.

A lot of things happened since then :

#1 : 13th July 2007 - I graduated!

Finally, a degree! *Sigh*

#2 : 14th July to 19th July 2007 - Trip to Lake District & Scotland

Lake District was gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous! Toured the East Lakes only, didn't manage to go along the West Lakes due to time constraint (I overestimated how much my dad can drive in a day, and how much can be covered in a day). Scotland was nice as well, although it rained when we were there. It was a different experience altogether. Firstly, because all 6 of us (Abah, Mak, Yana, Makcik, Mak Busu and moi) went in a motorhome and stayed at caravan sites. It was sometimes tiring, occasionally vexing (I had to plan the whole thing, and trying to accommodate everyone's wishes was VERY challenging), but mostly fun.

3 rules for anyone who wants to plan a holiday for a group with a majority of ladies above 50 : (a) take them shopping, (b) take them shopping, and then (c) shop some more!!

Any bad experience during the trip was forgotten after they came out from the Royal Doulton factory outlet. Honestly, the purchase of coffee sets and teapots and cups did wonders!

And the excess baggage - boleh pengsan okay! And they all blamed it on me, saying that I brought lots of stuff home after staying in the UK for 5 years. Well, out of the 47kg, I think 20kg would probably be mine (giving them the benefit of the doubt), tapi lagi 27kg??

Nasib baik lepas kat airport (alhamdulillah, ada org yg tolong)

Anyway, pictures!

Pictures 1&2 : Taken at a park by the lakeside in Ambleside.

The A592 route - said to have one of the most beautiful scenery in Britain

Aira Force Waterfalls

Me in Scotland

#3 : 20th July 2007 - Flight to Malaysia

Back in Malaysia for good. Don't think I'll be going back to the UK in the near future. Feels a bit weird, after 7 years living mostly away from home (including those 2 years in Banting), I am now a permanent fixture at 9486, Taman Guru. At least until something else comes along.

#4 : 24th July 2007 - Welcome to the world, Arif Imran!

Now I have a nephew as well!

Arif Imran, 2 hours old

Close-up of Arif Imran. Primary occupation : sleep, and minum susu. Mostly minum susu (scary wooooo....tak henti-henti!!!)

Arif Imran, Azureen Sofia and their Mak Ngah

As of now, I'm just enjoying myself being unemployed, not really worrying about that fateful day when I get my posting letter. At least, not much. But I HAVE started doing a bit of reading, to jog my memory a bit...after all, final med exam WAS 7 months ago.

Anyways, if anyone's in Seremban, don't forget to give me a shout. Save me from my idle life!

There's more to life than......

You've got to see this.

Read about it in the newspaper, and I searched for it on youtube almost immediately.

Mika Brzenzinski, you have my profoundest respect!



I have mixed feelings about the two co-presenters. On one hand, they seemed like they were trying to prevent the situation from being too tense, keeping it light. On the other, they were quite patronizing by being absolute jerks with regards to the whole thing. Maybe they were scared about being fired or something.

What do you think?

Tag ver. 3.0 - this time it's for charity

Yes, another tag. But this time it’s for a good cause. Found out about it from Kit.

The rule is:

If you are tagged, you need to write an entry related to the meme. At the end of your entry you just need to tag as many person as you like. You will then leave a comment in their blog to let them know they have been tagged. And to include this message, "By doing this meme you are contributing rm127 to the Darul Izzah Orphanage".

For more info please go to http://bakpo.blogspot.com/ . The author of the blog (Mr. Idham) will contribute RM127 on the behalf of every person who does the meme.

I won't be tagging anyone in particular for this one, I feel that I should give you the choice to do it or otherwise. If you decide to do this, please remember to do it by 26th August 2007, and leave a msg on Mr. Idham's blog to let him know you've done it. (**Edit : the dateline has been moved forwards to the end of July. So if you wish to join in do it before that date)

It doesn't take too long, we've all done longer surveys / questionnaires / memes. So why not join in?

Here’s mine:

*******************

1) A person is only as good as how he treats other people

2) Friendship is always important when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together.

3) To love is to open yourself to the other person, wholly, although it leaves you very vulnerable.

4) Money makes me - actually, it doesn’t make me feel anything. I try to live within my means. As long as I have enough, I’m happy

5) I miss the times when we (family) go on trips. Just us.

6) My way of saying I care is by fussing over people, doing things for them. I’ve lately learned to say “I love you”

7) I try to spread love and happiness by smiling at people, even strangers (no, not the ‘come hither’ kind of smile, the friendly kind). The human touch is also very powerful. I do this especially to patients.

8) Pick the flowers when you can, and give them to another to brighten up their day

9) To love someone is to accept him/her as he/she is. Never be blind to faults, but sometimes it helps to close one eye.

10) Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I believe this strongly.

11) When I was thirteen, what I remember the most was getting my first ever letter from an unknown boy from another school. It really scared the heck out of me! (Takut mak marah…but when I told her, she just laughed and told me to keep it. It really changed the way I looked at my mom..from then on I realized that she was also my friend, not just my mom)

12) When I was twenty-one, I remember not being able to vote because I was overseas. (Hahahah!)

13) I am most happy when I’m surrounded by family. Or with him.

14) Nothing makes me happier than when I feel I’m needed. Sounds strange, huh? I didn’t realize it before. But it’s true.

15) If I can change one thing, I will change – actually, I don’t want to change anything. Even the bad. I’m sure things happen for a reason, and I can only pray that we have the strength to overcome those obstacles, and emerge stronger at the end of those trials.

16) If smiles were the cure to all worries then I would offer it to everyone

17) Wouldn’t it be nice if we could settle all conflicts by talking through them. Then there won’t be needless killings and suffering in the world.

18) If you want to get things done your way then you have to do them yourself

19) Money is not everything but having enough takes your worries away. If you have a bit more then you can share the joy.

20) The most touching moments I have experienced is Azureen (my niece) getting up from her playthings and tried to rub my back when I muttered having ‘sakit belakang’. Having a 2 year-old rubbing your back isn’t very effective, but I was touched by the gesture nonetheless.

21) I smile whenever I think of Azureen.

22) When I am happy, I smile and laugh a lot.

23) If only I don’t have to pack all my things to ship back to Malaysia, then I’d enjoy my last few weeks in London more.

24) The best thing I did yesterday was talk to a lonely elderly lady.

25) If I ever write a book, I will give it this title, “Never lose your sense of humour. No matter what.”

26) One thing I must do before I die is – hmmm..I have to think about this one.

27) Doing this meme, I feel like I’m contributing to a bigger cause. Kudos to Mr. Idham for coming up with this! (And may Allah bless you for what you’re doing)