Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Cuckoo's Nest??

Started Psychiatry early this week. Had lectures the past 2 days, and today was my first day on the wards.


2 students per firm, and I was assigned to the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (with another guy who's to be my firm partner).

Initial thoughts within 5 minutes of arrival on the ward:


"Double doors? Locked all the time? Hmm...."

"Where are the beds? Single rooms? Darn, they have it good here"

"Oookay...they are all males.."

"Ermm..why is that guy staring at us from outside the locked office?"

"What IS he doing?"


Had a tour around the ward, we were told to carry bleeps with alarms whenever we're there (security reasons, just in case..apparently the patients can get violent if you're not careful). Were told to always go in pairs whenever we wanted to see a patient.


Talked to a schizophrenic patient just now. Has quite strange delusions. He was found walking aimlessly by the policw on the motorway. He claimed he was 'on the way from Hell to Heaven'.

Mental illness aside, he was a really nice person to talk to. But dear God, I was trying so hard not to giggle or laugh. The other patients were really 'keen' to talk to us too...one guy actually requested to be interviewed.

I don't think I'd choose Psychiatry as a career, but this coming 6 weeks will surely be interesting...



Monday, May 15, 2006

I'm tired.

With everything.

The smallest things can frustrate me nowadays.

Looking at previous entries and judging from the current one, I haven't been my optimistic self for a long time. Haven't written anything worth reading for ages.

Sometimes I feel like leaving everything and run away.

I know this is a phase, and it will pass.

Till then, Lord, give me strength.



Sunday, May 07, 2006

Thinking out loud

I don't know. I just don't know.


Everything's uncertain. I hate uncertainties. That's why I always choose the path where I can see the end point.

On the other hand, it's unfair to hope things will go my way.

I'm more than willing to go down the other road; but I need reassurance, anything that can convince me to make that move towards the unknown.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Update

It's been quite sometime since I wrote a proper entry in my blog. Partly because I've been lazy, mostly because I've been so busy.

Started Neurology module at Oldchurch Hospital. It takes approx. 1 hour to travel from my place. Have to take the tube, then the train, then a bus. It's been only 1 week, but travelling kinda wears me out. And I usually have to be in by 9 am (thus I have to get up at 7 latest to get ready) and arrive back at Floyer House usually abt 6.30 pm. The timetable's really packed, we hardly have time to clerk and examine patients. Have to do a minimum of 2 per week, even that is quite a challenge.

But having said that, I have to admit I asked for it. I applied for Oldchurch Hospital because my seniors said they have excellent teaching. And they do. If only we have more time to do things....

I've crossed out Neurology as a career option. I do like Neuro, but I can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life. Sat in during clinics today, and SO many patients come in with headaches and fatigue and pins and needles yada yada yada. Some of the complaints can be psychological. And consultation of each patient takes SO LONG! Don't think I have the energy to cope with that.

I think I'll stick to Obs and Gynae. Things are more structured and less complicated. You are either pregnant or you're not. You are either incontinent or you're not. Not so much grey area there.

So yeah, now I'm in my 2nd week of Neurology out of a total of 4 weeks. Next rotation will be Psychiatry, the branch of medicine I've struck off as a career option a long time ago. Can't listen to people talk for a long time, you see. I get restless...or even worse, I fall asleep! Nevertheless, I'm sure it'll be interesting an interesting 6-week rotation.

We'll see........


***************************
(this entry is for Kit)

Kit! I'm really sorry that I'll be missing your wedding. Wish I could be there, I always thought I'd be part of it too....

Apapepun, I wish you all the happiness in the world! Although I won't physically be at your wedding, please know that you have all my love and best wishes on that day!!

Tell Althie he better treat you right. Or he'd have to face me (and Amy too!). I'm sure he will, though ;)

Lots of hugs and kisses!


Monday, May 01, 2006

In love with.....

Michael Buble's 'You'll Never Know'

Well, it's not exactly his song. The song's been around for quite sometime. Frank Sinatra sang it, Barbra Streisand sang it. But I gotta say, Buble's rendition gave me goosebumps.


::You'll Never Know::

Darling, I'm so blue without you
I think about you the live-long day
When you ask me if I'm lonely
Then I only have this to say

You'll never know just how much I miss you
You'll never know just how much I care
And if I tried, I still couldn't hide my love for you
You ought to know, for haven't I told you so
A million or more times?

You went away and my heart went with you
I speak your name in my ev'ry prayer
If there is some other way to prove that I love you
I swear I don't know how
You'll never know if you don't know now

You'll never know just how much I miss you
You'll never know just how much I care
You said good-bye, no stars in the sky refuse to shine
Take it from me, it's no fun to be alone
With moonlight and memories

*this is Frank Sinatra's version. Other singers usually leave the 1st and 4th verses out. Can't imagine why.