The Great Star Wars Massacre

Next week, the stewards of my halls of residence are organizing a trip to the cinema, so all residents are invited to watch Star Wars : Revenge of the Sith - for free.

But I'm not going. I don't want to.

If people ask why, I just say that I haven't watched the 2nd episode yet, so I don't want to watch the next one until then.

Pretty reasonable excuse, perhaps. But people who've known me for ages will notice that someting is amiss. They'd probably say "WHAT? Hani, not watching Star Wars? Impossible!"

Yup, I'm a Star Wars fan. Huge one. Or was.

I remember in my school days, they'd almost always show Star Wars Episodes V-VI on tv every year. And everytime, without fail, I'd stay up and watch them, although I had school the next day. I started reading SW novels in Form 1, got addicted to it, and have a huge collection of the literature. At one time, I even kept a timeline for the books (the stories don't get published in order due to the different authors writing the books, so the stories go back and forth). I can tell you that Han Solo and Leia got married, have 3 kids (Jaina and Jacen - twins - and Anakin). I can even tell you their talents in the Force and what colour their first lightsabers were. I can also tell you that Luke married Mara Jade, the Emperor's right hand. Oh yeah, Chewie died in the end.

I was THAT obsessed. I have trading cards and the expansion sets, even the cardboard meal box KFC gave during the release of SW : Special Edition (I still do - stashed with my other memorabilias). To me, SW was THE trilogy (don't think even LOTR can compare)

When George Lucas announced that he'd make Episodes I-III, I was ecstatic. I went to watch The Phantom Menace as soon as it was released. And I was severely dissapointed.

Oh, the effects were superb all right, music as fantastic as ever, even the lightsaber duels were incomparable. But it was also unbelievably corny. The movie went fine, up to almost the end when the little boy Anakin Skywalker 'accidentally' got himself into a fighter plane and in his what-am-I-doing?-ooh-let's-press-this-button-and-see-what-happens mode he unintentionally shot down a lot of bad guys and the blew up a few things. And guess what happened next? He actually saved the day! Yup. I know. Unbelievable, right?

Which reminded me of the Home Alone movies. And every other Hollywood movie where precocious kids beat the crap out of bad guys (full-grown adults, no less).

Come on, George Lucas. You didn't have to sink to that level. I'm sure people would've been just as happy if Anakin intentionally got into that plane and actually meant to save the day. His midi chlorians were off the scale after all. Geniuses CAN do those things, you know. Mozart's first composition was produced even before his age reached two digits. He didn't go like "Ooh I accidentally scribbled something on the paper and it turned out to be a concerto!", did he now?

And so, yeah, the ending of Ep. I put me off the 2nd movie. Consequently, the third.

I also feel that this time around, it's more about how much money they can make from the public. You can see SW merchandise everywhere, from board games to costumes to lollipops. Even LOTR cannot compare in this department. Well, I know, it'll be kinda silly not to exploit the general public since to some, SW is almost a religion so they'd buy just about anything, even tissue papers with Yoda's face on it. But I always feel that SW is greater than just a money-grabbing scheme.

Well, I did watch the trailer for Episode III. Was a bit put out with the emotional scenes between Padme and Anakin (I'm okay with emo scenes, it's just the things they said..and how they said it...corny, corny..). On the other hand, I was sorely tempted by the lightsaber fights. Maybe that will turn the tables and persuade me to watch it after all.

Or maybe not. I'll be content with Episodes V-VI, which I still consider the best trilogy of all, with LOTR a close second.