Foot in mouth.....

Everyone's been in one of those foot-in-mouth situations before. You know, the one when you said the wrong thing and realized it a second too late and then wish that the ground would open and swallow you whole.

Yeah, I had that today. Not just once. THREE times in 5 minutes!

For my SSM (selected study module), I have to record an interview with a patient, and then analyze it, and write an unbelievably long essay on what was done well and what could've been done better. A lot of wishy-washy stuff. I can't believe the things they make medical students do nowadays.

Anyway, I interviewed this elderly lady diagnosed with lung cancer. Did that yesterday. She's a very sweet lady, very obliging, and yesterday she was even more concerned than myself on how the recording went. When they broke the news of the diagnosis to her, she didn't take it very well, but ever since then she's put on a very brave front and tries to be philosophical about the whole thing. But when I talked to her I could sense that she was still trying to come to terms with reality.

I went to the ward today to do a full physical examination on her. Had to wait a while, the doctors were doing a ward round. Anyway, while we were waiting, she said to me "I need to pop into the loo for a while, and then I'll come back and we'll finish the job."

Obviously she meant it in another context. I think I've watched too many of those bad-guys-shooting-people kind of stories. I sort of smiled and automatically said "Well...." and I think I had a look on my face (I can't tell you what, coz obviously I didn't see it myself) and she saw it and then her face changed and she said "Oh no, I didn't mean THAT..."

Strike one, Hani. Well done.

When she got back, she was breathless quite a bit, and sat on the bed to catch her breath. Then she asked me "Am I holding you up?" to which I replied "Oh no, don't worry, I have lots of time to kill."

Strike two. I only pray that she didn't really hear what I said. As I drew the curtains of her cubicle I wished I had a gun to kill myself. Not literally la. But it was definitely one of those Ally McBeal moments.

I won't tell you the third occasion. It was similar to the first two. I'm sure you get the idea. A woman was trying to grasp the concept of dying, and there I was, saying things like that.

Next time I should pay attention to the communication skills sessions the medical school gives us.