I am not...

a good person by default.

I have to remind myself many times in a day, that I should speak kind words, do good deeds, be thoughtful. Remind myself of who I am, and what I am.

There are times when I can be completely thoughtless towards other people. I’m not proud of this at all, it usually happens when I’m not paying enough attention.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m any less sincere in my actions than other people. It’s just that I have to try harder.

I’ve seen people where being good is like second nature to them. I wonder how they do it?

Ask me no questions....

..and I'll tell you no lies.

I'm not one to tell you things only to make you feel better.

I prefer to say things as they are**. And I appreciate the same from others, no matter how brutal.

At least that way, we'll always know where we stand.

**Of course I'll put it nicely la. I do understand the power of a well-phrased criticism compared to a poorly delivered one that can be seen only as an insult.

On being weird..

Hey.

Yes, I’m still alive.

Back in Seremban for the weekend, going back to Kota Bharu early Monday morning so I can meet my elective supervisor by 9 am (hopefully)

Have done 2 weeks of anaesthetics. Having a really good time, really nice doctors and nurses. Hope I’ll have lots of colleagues like them when I start working.

On another note, got tagged by Kit and Niesa. So here goes….

*****************************

Rules : People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them..etc, etc. (The instruction’s too long, I’m sure you got the gist of it)

6 weird things about Hani Izhar

#1 : I love airplane food. Don’t ask why, I just do

#2 : While on a long-haul flight, no matter how many hundred movies there are to watch, I’ll always end up watching the same movie over and over again.

#3 : I clean my room when I get stressed. Usually in the wee hours of the morning

#4 : I wash my hands with soap hundreds of times a day. Even when I’m taking my shower

#5 : I can sleep soundly even though my next door neighbour and his friends scream their lungs out while playing computer games, but the sound of water dripping from the tap against the dead silence of the night drives me crazy.

#6 : When it comes to movies and the music industry, I have more in common with your parents who grew up during the 50s/60s/70s. I think I was born in the wrong era. *I've actually changed this entry. Reading the original made me a bit embarassed of myself*

If you do any of the things I’ve mentioned you wouldn’t think of it as weird. Everyone has his/her own little quirks.

Oh yeah, the rules also said that I’m supposed to tag 6 people. Most of the people I know have done it, so I’m tagging anyone else who hasn’t done it.

It’s 11.30 p.m. I’m already sleepy. I must be getting old.

FINAL YEAR EXAMS : THE VERDICT

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah

It's been a week (and one day, to be exact) since I first set foot on Malaysian soil after quite sometime (okla, okla, 5 months and a bit, but that's a long time considering my track record).

Feels like I sat for the finals in another lifetime. It's like a distant memory (cewah). But it'll come back to haunt me; next Friday to be exact, when I get the results. Just hoping for the best.

Still in Seremban. Had to postpone my flight to Kota Bharu due to circumstances. Going on Sunday.

Been spending time with Azureen. She's all grown up! Has quite an impressive repertoire of songs she can sing. In fact, she sings most of the time. Pantang tengok orang masuk bilik. She'll knock on the door and say "Mak Ngah, Een (that's what she calls herself) nak masuk Mak Ngah.." several times.

Cammane org tak cair?

Also saw the movie "Cinta". Bought the original vcd**, but the somehow the quality wasn't that good. The movie looked dark for some reason, even after I changed the tv settings. Have to try it again on my laptop.

Will review the movie once I watch it again properly. Have to say though, despite its shortcomings it wasn't half as bad. I did have a few bones to pick after watching it yesterday night, but I thought I'd see it again before forming a fixed opinion (yeah yeah..as if the fate of the local movie industry hangs upon what I think). Besides, having a two year-old running around the living room while I was trying to watch the movie didn't help much with my concentration.

On another note, the new season of Naruto has been released! Woohooo!! Punyalah lama tunggu diorang nak sambung citer tu. I hated the filler episodes. But now it's back!!

**Although I AM guilty of supporting the pirated dvd industry (or anything I can get from the internet) for some reason I always make it a point to buy original vcds of local productions. Maybe because they don't do them on dvds (I may be wrong, forgive my ignorance) and pirated vcds are just bad (in all aspects). Original vcds are affordable enough, I guess

One down....

Three to go.

Had my EMQs+SBAs (extended matching questions + single best answers) papers last Monday.

Alhamdulillah, they weren't too bad. Hope it's not a case of overconfidence on my part (as they say, pride cometh before a fall).

Gonna have OSCEs 5th-7th February. Have to brush up on my clinical skills.

Neways, went shopping yesterday. Had some stuff to buy to bring back to Malaysia. And I also bought this :

Love love LOVE the scent.

I'm not usually a fan of perfumes. Whenever I walk through the perfume section in any department store I'd walk as fast as I can. And I don't fancy standing beside a person who smells like he/she just had a perfume bath. I get headaches, see.

But Pure White Linen has a very clean and crisp smell. Not overwhelming at all. To be honest, it gives the kind of freshness you get when you smell a newly-laundered piece of clothing.

It IS the fragrance to live in all year long. *sigh*

For more info about the scent, click here

Sound advice

Stumbled upon something when I was surfing. Struck a few chords and pulled a few heart strings. Best reminder one can receive, or give to another person. To view the original post, click here. Or you can just read it below.

*************************************************************

Another graduation speech that I would have loved to give…

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.

Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

~ Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune

Song of the month

I was listening to the soundtrack of Shrek 2 when a song caught my fancy. It's titled "You Belong to Me" sung by Jason Wade of Lifehouse with a guitar as accompaniment.

It turned out, the song's been around for quite sometime (1952!).

Not THAT surprised actually. Old songs are the best.

******************

You Belong to Me

See the pyramids around the Nile

Watch the sun rise from the tropic isle

Just remember darling all the while

You belong to me

See the market place in old Algiers

Send me photographs and souvenirs

Just remember when a dream appears

You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean in a silver plane

See the jungle when it's wet with rain

Just remember till you're home again

You belong to me

Oh I'll be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean in a silver plane

See the jungle when it's wet with rain

Just remember till you're home again

You belong to me

Stress reliever

It works!

First entry of 2007

It is ten days overdue, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Just a quick note. Apologies for being quiet lately. Am in the midst of preparation for the final exams. Written exam on 22nd Jan, and then OSCE exams (that's practical exams to you) 5th-7th February.

And on February 10th, I'm flying home!!

So you won't hear much from me until then. After that date, if you still don't hear anything, it is safe to assume any of the statements below :

a) I totally burned out that I didn't even make it to the final exams.

b) Due to my ghastly performance I arrested (cardiac, respiratory, whatever)

c) Exams went fine, and I'm celebrating my brains out

Jokes aside, please pray that everything goes well for me. This is my final hurdle in med school, and I have to do justice to all the taxpayers' money.

Oh yeah, have a good year, everyone!

Howdy.

Had the best Christmas break ever.

Now I've to strap myself to the chair and revise like there's no tomorrow.

No space for teh tarik

I don't know if you can read that. I almost can't.

Read the article here.

Well, well, well.

We DO have decent experiments to perform in space

No, I'm not going to say "I knew that...they can't be REALLY playing batu seremban and making teh tarik.."

My uncle mentioned in his blog about the dangers of light-hearted statements made in jest being misquoted by the press.

The person who made the statement may well had been misquoted. I do hope, for everyone's sake, that this was the case. Being misquoted is one thing, but I guess one's got to be careful not to make such comments in the first place. Look at how ridiculous we looked in the eyes of foreigners.

Let's see what happens...

Confidentiality issues

I started my 2-week GP rotation last Monday.

It's been a good experience so far, the GPs are excellent teachers. I have, however, ruled out general practice as a career option (reasons why will be discussed another time).

Anyway, as I was entering the consultation room today (yesterday actually, since it's already Saturday), I bumped into a friend, who's also a medical student in my year. She was a patient registered under the GP surgery, and I guess she came in for a consultation.

When I went back home later in the day I mentioned to another friend that I saw so-and-so at the surgery. Only just a few moments ago I realized I've breached confidentiality; revealing a patient to another.

Every patient has a right to confidentiality. This includes his/her identity and anything discussed during a consultation. Health professionals have the duty to protect this and reveal to no one except those involved in the patient's care. This responsibility holds true even after the patient's death. Only in certain circumstances can the patient's information be revealed, e.g. if required by law or if the patient can potentially cause harm to another (e.g. when an HIV-positive patient refuses to inform partner of HIV status, and doesn't practice safe sex).

If the patient-doctor relationship is strictly professional, I guess it is easier to maintain confidentiality, by virtue of the fact that when the doctor leaves his office at the end of the day, he leaves his work behind. When the patient is also a friend, and known to others in one's social circle, all it takes is a slip of the tongue to reveal all.

Back to the friend I saw yesterday. You might think it's not that big a deal, since the only thing happened was that I met her in the corridor. It's not like I was present for the consultation or anything. But it IS a huge issue. She has the right to remain unknown.

The reason why I'm relating this story is to remind myself, as well as some of you who, like me, will become doctors soon, God willing. Better make mistakes now than later. Despite my occasional self-deprecating remarks about being a lousy medical student, I DO plan to become a good doctor. Borrowing Aunt Eller's line from Oklahoma! : I don't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be damned if I ain't just as good.

Kamus NOGORI

Got this from Aniz, my childhood friend.

Although I claim myself a Negeri Sembilan girl through-and-through (I was born in Terengganu, but it wasn't my fault my dad was posted there), I have to confess my loghat nogori is abysmal. Oh, I can talk basic nogori, we often crack jokes using the dialect at home. But I can't talk the proper version of it. That's why I won't even attempt to write anything here in nogori, takut kena buang daerah hehe.

Neways, you Negeri Sembilan people out there, how extensive is your vocabulary? Below are over 60 words. I know 25, so I guess it's not that bad. How about you?

Enjoy

*******************

KAMUS NOGORI

1) ANGEK..............hangat, loghat

hangat

- angek boto badan budak ni, domam, gek eh!

2) AMBA...............tak ada rasa, tawar

- Apo lak amba yo gulai ikan semilang kau ni timah!

3) ANGKEK.............angkat, loghat angkat

- piah, tolong angkek air lam baldi tu....

4) ANCUK...............copulate, lucah ni

- beghancuk yo kojo eh budak ni

5) AGEH.................sejenis ulat agas, loghat agas

- ghumah onyang ni banyak na ageh, maleh la nak tido

6) SUKI = cukup

- ayam tu kalau suki makan eh..sihat la dehhh

7) GHOSAN = basi

- lauk ayam nia kok buh dlm poti sojuk..tahan la deh. kok bia

yo kek luar..ghosannn deh

8)MELANGSIT = tido yg bersungguh

- ekau ni kan, melangsit yo kojo kau. cubo la poie motong gotah

9) SENUGHEH : senonoh

- ekau ni tak senugheh boto lah. den lompang kang!

10) CHEMAT = rotan

- budak dogey ni cemat yo hukum eh. tak mau di koba org..

11) BOGIK = dogei mak amek

12) HOBIN - ho-bin : pukul atau belasah

ekau hobin yo muko dio tuh!

13) KITAI - ki-tai : mengibas atau merenjis (badan dan selalu nya utk kucing)

kucing tuh lopeh dimandi an memang gomar mengitai an badan eh

14) PELAIH- pe-la-ih : endah atau amik tau

bukan dio nak pelaih an apo yg den cakap!

15) TETOYEK - te-to-yek : mcm lebihan terutama bg rendang

banyak boto tetoyek ghondang nie

15) GHEMAH - ghe-mah : saki baki nasi yg bertaburan lps makan

apo la makan cam tuh... bersepah ghemah

16) ONTOK-ONTOK : diam-diam

heh, duduk lah ontok-ontok sikit

17) MENDODA - men-do-da : terlalu kuat

sampai mendoda bunyi eh dio bukak lagu tuh!

18) LELAN - le-lan : cuai

lain kali bawak keto, jgnlah lelan... bahayo

19) MENTENENG - men-te-neng : besar, boroi etc

menteneng poghot dan lopeh makan lomang nie

20) DODAT - do-dat : minum terus tanpa cawan

jangan lah dodat air tuh camtuh, amik lah cawan, karang ado org lain nak

minam!

21) BELOBAU- be-lo-bau : terjatuh

jangan ditolak kucing tu, belobau dlm kolam tuh karang!

22) KECENG - ke-ceng : kenyit

apolah terkeceng-keceng mato tuh

23) AMEK - sangat

Kau jangan bawak motor tu laju-laju amek jang, kang kok terjungkang kek

topi somak tu kang.

24) TONAR - kedengaran sangat kuat

Mak oi, kuek bonar budak tu menangih tonar sekampong.

25) LUNYAH - dipijak-pijak

Abih tompek tidur den di lunyah dek bebudak ni

26) TEBOK - tanduk

Semalam atuk den di tebok kek kobau nasib baik tak apo-apo

27) POLAK - rimas...

polak eh la pulak...ekau kipeh den sokojap../ polak tolingo den dongar

bebel kau ni..apo mulut kau tak bulih diam ko

28) BEJEOH (be-je-oh) = untung besar

Kalau dapek duit pelanting, bejeoh den.... hehehee......

29) PORUN (po-run) = bakar semak-samun/sampah-sarap

lopeh tobeh somak tu tolong porun sekali biar torang, nanti sonang nak

tanam apo-apo.

30) CENEKEL (ce-ne-kel) = tipu/ngelat

ekau main cenekel patutlah kau buleh monang

31) HONGEH ~ ho-ngeh - mengah/keletihan

"den tongah hongeh ni sobab baghu lopeh dikojar dek lombu garang"

32) HONGAP ~ ho-ngap - nafas

"hongap kau ni bebau rokok"

33) NGICAK ~ ngi-cak = minta

"tak habih2 budak ni nak ngicak kueh den yo kojo eh"

34) KELOKAIAN ~ ko-lo-ka-ian = habiskan

"mano ado tinggal laie, habih dikolokaian eh kek budak ni"

35) NONGGOK = duduk, tinggal

"ekau nonggok mano sokarang"

36) PEMONGAK = pe-mo-ngak = pembohong

"usah kau pecayo cakap2 eh tu, pemongak nak mampuih"

37) NGENDENG ngen-deng = mendekati seseorang untuk dapat sesuatu

"apo kau buek ngendeng yo ni jang, nak apo laie?"

38) SEJOGHENG se-jo-gheh = secebis

"ado ko patut dibori eh den sejogheng yo, padohal banyak laie tu

hah..."

39) MENYONGOK = me-nyo-ngok/menjongok men-jo-ngok = menziarah

"aghi rayo aghi tu den balik kampong menyongok gf den...hehehe...."

40) KECEK = ke-cek = minta dgn muka kesian

"cubo kau kecek ado laie tu...."

41) BEGHAMUK = be-gha-muk = bergaduh

"apo dibuek eh kek bobudak ni, beghamuk yo kojo eh"

42) DOGHEH = do-ngeh/dedogheh de-do-ngeh= cepat

"jalan lah dogheh/dedogheh, agi dah nak malam ni"

43) BONGKAR = bong-kar = bangun

bongkar la copek..dah subuh

44) MENTOKODAGHAH - men-to-ko-da-ghah = makan

kuek amek mentokodaghah ko ni milah..abih duit den

45) POLOSER - po-lo-ser = pemalas

poloser amek ko ni jang

46) POLOSIT - po-lo-sit = jahat

Huh anak si Jang katek tu, polosit sungguh, mencurik ajo kojoeh.

47) BOSOLUMAK - bo-su-lu-mak = comot

humang aiii!!.......bosulumak boto mulut kau lopeh makan aiskrim tue

48) JEWAT - je-wat : capai

lupo lak eden nak jewat baju tido tuh tadih

49) METENG - me-teng /peteng - pe-teng - perati

apo yang dok peteng tuh jang.. berio bonar lak nampak eh.

50) TITIEK - ti-tiek / TALO- ta-lo = rotan

Ekao nak kono titiek tak ngan abah kao?"

Bang talo sikit Bidin tu, dogee bonar pulak dio

51) OCUP - o-cup = tenggelam

jangan mandi kek lubuk tu ocup kang

52) BUNGKO - bung-ko = bingai/bengap

apo bungko bona si acai ni, den dah koba bokali-kali masih tak faham2 laie

53) BENGOT - be-ngot = herot

bengot mulut kau konon kono mato kail tu

54) BOLENG - bo-leng = bogel

ajis jangan mandi boleng kono sekodeng dek anep kang

55) MOH DOREH - moh-do-reh = mari cepat

moh doreh kito poie beghayo ko ghumah tok imam

54) GODANG - go-dang = besar

godang eh lubang hidung kau

55) GOLO- go-lo = parah/susah

alahai kantoi lak dengan bini waktu dengan dating dengan senah tadi..golo

lah den

56) PENGOLAN - po-ngo-lan = pengait

bak sini pongolan tu fana..ekau duduk ontok ontok kek situ

57) OKAP - o-kap = tamak

okap bonar kau ni im..sumo asal cun sikit kau kobeh

58) KOBEH - ko-beh = kebas

ekau monyangkung lamo lamo tak kobeh ko kaki mizz

59) LOHONG - lo-hong = barai

lubang hidung jiman somakin hari somakin lohong sebab selalu korek hidung

60) KOMAN - ko-man = ketinggalan zaman

apo koman bona dressing kau ni sarip

61) BALUN = belasah

apo tersongge songge baco posting den..nak kono balun

itu ajo la setakat nie.........bhaso jiwo bangso!!

Ayat yang membuatku kembang tak terkuncup lagi..

Weh korang!

Guess what?

I had GP attachment this a.m. Had a quick chat with the receptionist. Pastu dia cakap :

"You look like you're not even out from school.."

Ehehe.

Now, before you start leaving bubble-bursting comments, hear (or read, rather) me out first. I KNOW she meant that I look young, mostly because at five past nine in the morning I hadn't the chance to make a monkey of myself, and she wasn't able to asses my competence (incompetence, actually) as a medical student from a 5-minute encounter.

What say you now?

Wooohooooo!! *melompat-lompat sambil menari tarian sumazau*

So I guess I have a few years yet before I need anti-ageing thingies. Maybe if I invest the money I put aside properly I'd be able to afford botox! Muahahahahahah!

Eh. Takdela. Gurau je. Ko ni cepat melatah la senah!

It's SUCH a beautiful day...don't you think?

"I've had..time of my life.."

I'm listening to Dirty Dancing's soundtrack right now.

Watched the movie for the first time a couple of weeks ago (don't know why I never got around watching it before), when I visited Leicester and stayed with Peah.

Everytime they played a song in the movie, I went like "Ouh! I know this song!!" and then sang along, much to everyone's disbelief. (I'm sure they thought : WHAT DECADE is this crazy woman from??)

What can I say, I am more at home with songs from my mom's era. Should've been born in the fifties/sixties. I would've been SUCH a cool person back then! However, living in the current time and place, with my taste, I am doomed to be a geek and totally, totally uncool (by virtue of the fact that I can't connect with my peers, but can sing along with their parents).*sigh* Oh well. You people just DON'T KNOW how to appreciate me *pbbtthh*.

Now I have all the songs from the Dirty Dancing movie, thanks to Peah who delivered them to me and to Sid who obligingly downloaded them for me!! Remind me to belanja you fantastic people later!

If you'd excuse me, I'm gonna put on my 60s retro sunglasses and sing some golden oldies. ALOUD.

I WANT TO GO HOME.

The only place where I think, act, feel like myself.

Being away drives me positively nuts. It's like being on a roller-coaster ride. I'm not even pleasant company most of the time.

Everything's moving too quickly for me.

Astagfirullah. I know that I am ungrateful. By right I should feel nothing but happy.

So why do I feel like crying for no apparent reason?

**Addendum 09/12/06 9:40 pm: I'm fine. Just had a bad case of PMS. All is good now.

WOULD. YOU. LOOK. AT...

THAT.

Saw the advert on tv.

Introducing Nintendo's Wii (well I'm sure most of you already know about it anyway).

Has a wireless controller, which acts as a handheld pointing device and can detect motion and rotation in three dimensions.

That means, if the character in the game you're playing is in a swordfight, YOU are executing all the moves. If it's a golf game, you are literally the player (although I can't imagine anything less exciting than that).

I've given up my game controller ages ago (cewah macam bagus je) but I think Nintendo's latest release has taken gaming to another level.

Please excuse me while I drown in my puddle of saliva.

Ummm Santa? I've been a *ahem* good girl this year...do you think you can put this up on my list? Pretty please?? *with big shiny eyes ala2 kartun Jepun*

Owh. I forgot. Santa Claus doesn't exist. And I don't celebrate Christmas.

Drat.

Well, how about a belated birthday present? Anyone?

Hello?? *distant echoes are heard*

Ah well.

Too revealing?

Interesting piece of news on The Star Online today. To read it click here

Or if you're too lazy, the picture below sums up what's going on :

There's a RM500 fine for those who go against it. As expected, the 'Do's and Don'ts list' has sparked protest and outrage in some quarters (as reported here)

Their arguments were, in my personal opinion, valid points. Women have always been blamed as 'the source of evil'. It is unacceptable to say if a girl dresses a tad 'too revealing' and gets assaulted that 'she asked for it'. Honestly, does anyone still buy that argument?

How are they going to determine what's 'tight' and/or 'revealing' and what's not?

Before doing IB, I spent one semester doing matriculation locally (in Malaysia, that is). After spending 11 years in an all girls' day school where most of my friends were non-Malays, I got my very first wave of culture shock there.

My first Pendidikan Islam lesson, the ustaz threatened us with his 'kad kuasa', and said that he was authorised to 'tangkap khalwat' any couples seen doing anything funny. I was like, "oookay..."

That was a 'nice' welcome.

The whole environment of the campus was...well..to put it in a way, very religious. Now, I had no arguments against that (in principle, that is). I was ok with the fact that they tried to take care of everyone's 'spiritual well-being'. But I objected to the way they did it, and how they targeted only us girls.

Friday night ceramah focused mainly on how girls didn't wear camisoles with their baju kurung, or how thin the fabric is, or even how some girls don't wear socks. They made jokes at our expense, and the boys snickered at the front while us girls seethed with anger at the back.

We were proper second-class citizens, the female students. Actually, even worse than that. I felt the scavenger cats at the canteen were treated better. Then a sequence of events took place which left me properly traumatized. But that's a story for another day. Let's just say I never felt so happy to leave a place in my life.

Back to our main topic. Yet another article here (sorry! I make you read lots this time around). Statements such as, and I quote “A woman who wears an indecent outfit does not respect herself, so how can she expect men to respect her?” and 'there was no denying that men would be aroused by a scantily- dressed woman, as this was human nature' are ludicrous.

What is THAT all about?

At the same time, I do feel that we Malaysians have become too westernised - our clothes, our thinking, heck, even right down to our American accents we picked up from tv. Scantily-clad girls are no longer found only in 'large cities', as small town people would say. They now can be found in your own hometown. She can be your neighbour. Or your best friend. Or even your sister. It's such a norm now that people rarely bat an eyelash when they see such things.

A few years ago (when we Malaysians were still conservative...remember those times?), at a wedding reception, my mother made a remark about the bride, who wore a sleeveless, a-bit-on-the-sexy-side dress, saying that she 'tak tau nak hormat majlis,' showing her underarms to guests and her elders. At that time, I didn't understand what the fuss was about. Now I think I understand where my mom was coming from.

If you were to attend, let's say, your best friend's kenduri, you'd choose what you wear carefully. Or if you were to go to meet your relatives, your mom will surely ask you to wear something 'decent' (that is, if you have one like mine). If you go for a job interview, you'd spend hours deciding what to wear. Even in the medical profession, there are standards on what doctors should and should not wear. You may ask, why? Out of respect for the other person. You do not dress simply for yourself, it's also for every single person you meet that day, whether you know him/her or not.

As it is wrong for people to criticize you on how you dress, it is also unacceptable to impose your dressing on other people.

I guess what MPKB is trying to do is 'protect' their people from being keBaratan, while still trying to preserve eastern; and most importantly, Islamic values. And to be honest, when I went to Kelantan last summer, it was really nice not to see people 'flaunting' themselves, that everyone looked so well ummm... decent.

I feel SO old saying that.

But I still object to the statements made in the papers. Totally devoid of respect towards women.

That's the problem. They blame us for everything, and teach their brothers and sons that women are the root of all evil. They never taught their sons to respect their mothers and sisters, to love and cherish and protect. Instead they are taught to look at women with contempt.

And seriously, if you want to fight 'immorality' and 'indecency'? EDUCATE the people. EDUCATE them. EDUCATE them. Teach them good values; show them how to think for themselves; teach them the importance of respecting others, and also one's self. Only then will we stop being the mindless sheep we have become.

Not so easy, huh? We always prefer the quick-fix method, washing our hands off the problem afterwards, claiming we've done all we can. How myopic. How irresponsible. How typical. (Oh dear, it's the 't' word...again).

Hmmmmm

Just look at that.

I'm usually a neat person - well agak neat la. In my younger days (cewah) I loved spring cleaning, everytime I got stressed I'd clean the room from top to bottom - usually after midnight. (I know...I have weird habits, like bathing after 12am..there are even weirder habits you'd find out about if you get to know me better). Can't even be bothered to clean up anymore. Everytime I do, it gets messy again double quick.

The state of the rest of the room is more or less the same. Oh, I can still see the floor,thank heavens, but things are cluttered in groups - in an 'organized' sort of way.

You should see my laundry basket. It's like a volcano ready to erupt. In fact, it has a slightly smaller twin - the 'handwash' pile and the 'washing machine' pile, you see. Sometimes I yell at them : "Why can't you wash yourselves??"

My dishes get that a lot too.

I also wish that the food in the freezer would defrost themselves and voluntarily jump into the cooking pot.

I really marvel at my friends who are still studying and are also married +/- with kids. Cammane korang cope haaa? Aku kat sini diri sendiri pun tak terjaga. Mungkin sebab tu la jodoh korang awal and mine is still on suspension.

More friends are getting married within the next few months. I wish you all infinite joy. Me? Everytime anyone asks about 'my turn' (tak serik2 lagi ke?), my standard answer is now "Rabu. Datangla ye..bawak hadiah sekali.." (well I haven't used the 'hadiah' bit, but I think it's a good addition. Gonna use that next time).

Not going home for Christmas holidays. Somehow that thought makes me depressed...