Past the point of no return

I've done it.

I wrote to the medical school, and my name has been removed from the MTAS (just found out what MTAS is..it's Medical Training Application Scheme).

For better or for worse, Malaysia, here I come.

Burning the bridge (warning : ramblings ahead)

A couple of weeks ago, the job application forms for PRHO FY1 (Pre-registration House Officer, Foundation Year 1) came out. Final year medical students who are applying for FY1 posts have to fill in the application form, answering questions six questions on why he/she will make a good doctor, giving examples etc.

Yup, pretty wishy-washy.

Based on the new system of application (in its 2nd year this year), applicants are awarded 85 points in total, with academic ranking contributing 45 points maximum. The rest of the points are academic achievements, other prizes/awards, etc. To be honest, I don't know what's going on exactly.

Why? Because I'm not applying, that's why.

When I first started med school at Barts and the London, I intended to go back straight after qualifying. When I started my clinical year (year 3), I thought that staying would be a good idea, so that I can at least clear all my membership exams before going home, making it easier for specialist training. Last year, the UK Home Office came up with new immigration laws, affecting all non-UK/EU citizens across all professions, I'm sure. Because of the new laws, international students who qualify from UK medical schools are allowed to stay for the Foundation Year training (FY1 and FY2), but afterwards we'll be treated like any other foreign doctor. After finishing FY2 we'd have to apply for job permit, and employers are allowed to hire non-UK/EU citizens only when there is no one with a UK/EU passport who can fill the post. Even if we do get the job, work permit lasts only for the duration of the employment, afterwards the whole job application process repeats and work permit has to be acquired all over again.

If that doesn't stink, I don't know what does.

So, being discouraged by what's happening, my plans changed again. I'm going back to Malaysia. Those who are staying are either hoping to save some money before going back (to buy a car, a house, get married..that sort of thing), and some want the GMC registration before going back.

The GMC registration sounded attractive at first. But then I asked myself : will I ever use/need it? Now that prospects of postgraduate training in the UK are very slim, what do I need the UK GMC registration for?

One reason why I want to go back quickly is that since I'm most likely to go postgraduate studies back home, it helps to get into the civil service earlier to those who are staying behind. As it is now, my peers in Malaysia are already in their 1st year of housemanship. And back home, seniority counts (salary-wise, career progression-wise). And with the government sending SO MANY students to do medicine worldwide, as well as having medical schools practically in every state in Malaysia, I can foresee an major influx of doctors in the near future. Better get into the race sooner than later.

I've informed my medical school of my decision of not applying, and an email was sent to me and several other Singaporean students who've had job offers from Singapore, stating that :

"if, at a later date, they (i.e. non-UK/EU graduates from UK medical school )want to return to the UK to practice or undertake clinical research, they will find it very difficult – despite full registration with their home GMC or equivalent body - to update their UK GMC registration from provisional to full. The GMC does not accept retrospective approval of PRHO posts and also does not allow UK graduates to undertake PLAB. Thus even if a UK graduate is fully registered with their "home" GMC or equivalent body they will have difficulties in gaining registration with the UK GMC on return to the UK."

Reading those words, I faltered.

Oh, I knew about it even before, but having those words coming from THE authoritative source made me doubt myself.

Not enough to change my resolve, but enough for me to question whether what I'm doing is right.

I'm supposed to reply to the email, stating 'my intentions' and request for my name to be removed from the FY1 application process.

Do I burn the bridge now? Or simply wait for the application deadline to pass quietly?

With all my 'big talk', I'm not a brave person after all.

What is a typical Malay?

I have heard of (and also guilty of using) the phrase 'typical Malay' often enough.

What does being a 'typical Malay' mean? Saying to someone that he/she is acting like a typical Malay is akin to accusing him/her of being lazy, narrow-minded, short-sighted, too complacent, easily swindled, prone to petty jealousies....etc...

I was reading Nik Nazmi's thoughts about our Malaysian astronaut playing children's games in space, and someone accused him of (and I quote) "perasaan hasad dengki dan iri hati orang melayu kepada org melayu yang ingin mencapai kejayaan..Another ol typical malay!!!!"

Sadly enough, when someone uses that 'typical Malay' phrase others know exactly what he/she means.

The question is : how long are we going to stay 'typical'? The negative traits mentioned above (and more) are pathognomonic (using a medical term here, meaning diagnostic for a particular disease) for being Malay.

Doesn't anyone else think it is getting old? Malays acting 'typical' and other people accusing us of being so. Somehow it sounds worse than Chinese or Indian people being called 'typical Chinese/Indian' (whatever they mean).

As you can see, I rant a lot nowadays. Pre-exam fever has kicked in. Oh yeah.

More about Malaysian in space...from a non-Malaysian's point of view

My sister sent me this article by Michael Backman, an 'internationally renowned author and columnist' - While Malaysia fiddles, its opportunities are running dry. To read the article, click here

Also by the same author : read this

Bitter pills to swallow, and yet there's truth in them. I wish I have the resources to send them to every Minister in Malaysia; via email, snail mail, text message, voice message...heck, I'd even enlarge and paste them on every billboard available in Malaysia.

Someone MUST be made to listen. This has got to stop before we lose the last precious shreds of dignity we have left!! (Although at this point I even doubt its existence...)

Today's News....

I was reading The Star online (yes, I do keep up with news from home) and this piece of news caught my attention. (note : I've added comments in between...just to express my sentiments)

Malaysian's first astronaut to do what no one in space has done before -->why do I get a feeling it's gonna be something silly?

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysia's first astronaut will do what no one in space has done before: play traditional Malay children's games without gravity. --> yup, I was right

The astronaut - yet to be selected - will play "batu seremban,'' or "five stones'' and spin traditional Malay tops in space--> WHAT THE...???!!??, Agriculture Ministry parliamentary secretary Rohani Abdul Karim told parliament on Wednesday.

Rohani, who was replying on behalf of the Science, Technology and Innovations Ministry, said the astronaut would also do batik painting and making teh tarik-->errm excuse me, but HOW does this benefit anyone?? Roti canai takde ke? Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a zero-gravity environment, won't the teh tarik fly everywhere? The Russians might be a bit peeved for messing up their space station...you know, nanti lekit and the space ants will come in no time.

She said this in reply to comments made by MPs on what the Malaysian astronaut might do in the International Space Station.-->I'm sure they were expecting a more intelligent answer, but then I might be wrong....

Rohani said the training programme for the Malaysian astronaut in Russia would not cost the Treasury a single sen.--> and as such you think it's okay for the astronaut bearing Malaysia's name to make an intergalactic fool of himself???

Replying to Datuk Dr Marcus Mojigoh (BN-Putatan), she said the programme was provided free of charge as part of an offset programme for the purchase pf Sukhoi fighter aircraft from Russia.-->*snorts* was it a second-hand plane? (probably the Russians felt bad for swindling us so easily and offered the programme to make amends)

She said the benefits of the programme for the country were numerous, including the opportunity to conduct scientific experiments in space.--> yeah, so why don't we?? If we actually are I'm sure people are more interested to know about that than making teh tarik and play batu seremban

Such experiments will also be studied by our own scientists in the medical, science and educational fields.

Schoolchildren will be further motivated to increase their interests in science and technology when our astronaut holds a live teleconference with students from several selected schools,” she said, adding that the astronaut would also conduct several experience on micro-gravity in front of the television camera.-->to be honest with you, schoolchildren will be interested in ANYTHING if there's a scholarship offer attached to it...don't have to go through to all the trouble of sending a man to space.

Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor and Kapten Dr Faiz Khaleed, who had been selected for Malaysia’s first astronaut programme, are now undergoing training for a year in Russia before departing for the International Space Station.-->what? a year to learn how to play batu seremban and gasing and make teh tarik? What do you need those doctors for? Might as well send a teh-tarik man and the johan kebangsaan in batu seremban to accomplish those things.

Only one of them will board a Russian rocket for eight days of space travel on Sept 2 next year.-->so, how do you choose? Undian SMS? My bet is on the better-looking one then...

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Reading ridiculous articles like this makes me so angry I want to cry.

Another piece of news from the same source:

TUN Dr Mahathir Mohamad, who is now recuperating from a mild heart attack, had received information that he would be booed if he attended the Umno general assembly. Mukhriz said his father had been booed before, even when he was still the party president...

*sigh* This is how we treat the person who's done so much for the country. Grown men playing schoolyard politics...they even act like children. We applauded him when he spoke out against the Western giants, but can't take it when we receive the same kind of treatment. I'm not saying he's always right, nor am I siding anyone but surely things can be solved by acting maturely. Not all this bickering that comes out in the papers. It's just downright silly.

Birthday reflections

Turning twenty-four makes me realize that:

1) I am old(er). Sigh. Wiser? Maybe not.

2) I will be thirty-four in no time. Ack!!

3) By UK standards, I still look twenty at the very most (wahahahahahahahah!*gelak evil*)

4) I can be just as childish as I was ten years ago, but with more serious consequences.

5) I feel comfortable going out without fussing about my appearance like I used to a couple of years ago. (Yes, yes, I have my share of vanity, so sue me).

6) Lots of my friends have gotten married/engaged to be married. My sister started her "I was engaged at twenty-four" spiel officially today, joining my mom who started a while back. Sigh..nantilah ye...

7) My biological clock is ticking. Caught myself a few times looking at adorable babies thinking "I want one of those..."

8) I want to graduate and get out of medical school!!

9) There are some people you went to school with that you never dreamed you'd be close to after leaving school. Surprisingly, they are now your closest friends.

10)I rather spend the night talking to a few close friends than go out gallivanting with a large group of people

11)I sleep no later than 12am. It's almost impossible to stay awake after that time.

12)There are quite a few things I regret doing. Wish I had done things differently

13)There are a few crazy things I wish I had done when I was younger.

14)Most of all, turning twenty-four makes me realize that every second of my life has been a blessing, and I have so much to thank God for.

Dusting the cobwebs

Berposing di pagi raya...

Yes, this blog has been neglected for quite sometime.

No, I've not been kidnapped by aliens and having my internal organs rearranged. Am very much alive and well. Thank you for wondering (or not).

It's not too late to wish Selamat Hari Raya! Hope your Eid was a good one. My last Eid away from home (insyaAllah), am looking forward to celebrating Raya in Malaysia once more with great expectations.

Final exams are looming over the horizon, 12 weeks to go! Even yours truly, who usually is a last-minute crammer is starting to feel the heat. Having exams is one thing, but the thought of being a full-fledged doctor by August positively terrifies me. It IS a welcome change, after being in med school for 5 years and 2 years IB before that. Most of my friends have started work ages ago. But I hate change. At the same time I look forward to it as well.

Another reason to be intimidated is because I'm planning to work Malaysia once I graduate. Having medically trained in English, my Bahasa Melayu comm skills is gonna stink big time. You might see me saying the following a lot:

Anxious relative : Bagaimana keadaan dia, doktor?

Me : (In my white coat, looking at clipboard). Keadaan dia stabil. Tapi dia perlu banyak berehat.

Or........

Anxious relative : Bagaimana keadaan dia, doktor?

Me : (coming out from the operation theatre, in my scrubs, slowly shaking my head at the patient). Kami telah cuba sedaya upaya. Bersabarlah, ini semua kehendak Tuhan.

Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!

All the times I laughed so hard at those corny lines in Malay films/drama!! It's gonna come back to haunt me!

On a different topic altogether, for those who are on Friendster, have you noticed that it has turned into a site for new moms and dads to showcase their offsprings, and for married/engaged people to show others how happy they are?

Is it just me or did you notice it as well??

The ranks of single people of my age are thinning. Fast. How depressing is that? (Of course I'm happy for them, just saying that I'm not getting any younger. Gonna be over the hill before I even realize it).

That's life, I guess

As soon as I say I won't be blogging often, here's another entry.

Typical.

Been hooked on youtube this weekend. Saw Lea Salonga's (now Lea Salonga-Chien) wedding in 2004 video, I LOVE the song she sang to her husband!! *sigh* What a dream. Her husband actually cried (kinda cute actually..who wouldn't?).

Also watched Les Mis in various languages on youtube. Now I SO wanna go around the world and watch all the Les Mis production there is!

(Since $$$$ is not unlimited, I guess there's plenty of room to dream....)

Yana, let's GO!!! We'll sing along every show!!

It's been a long time since my last post.

Been busy with final year (yes, I'm a finalist!!). The big exams will be in Jan-Feb, so no time to play much.

Before I go into hibernation again, just wanna share this video I found on youtube.com. It's hilarious!

Till next time

With love,

Hani

Hooked on...

ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA

(Heck, I wasn't even a rock fan before this)

Now THAT'S what I call a reality-tv show full of talents!!

A Picture Says a Thousand Words....

This is for Azureen's Mak Su in Australia :

She sends her love and lots and lots of wet kisses!! (Believe me, they ARE wet!)

Back in Malaysia

Alhamdulillah, dah selamat sampai

Had a really good flight home, I got upgraded to Business Class!! (hehe..*gelak evil*)

Been spending time at home with Azureen, she's quite a handful but TOTALLY ADORABLE! Pictures later.

In the meantime, my hp number while in Msia is 017-3575130. Sesape yang nak pegi berpoya-poya, panggillah saya, ye?

One more!!!

Three down, one more to go!!!

OSCE 10-min stations this afternoon.

And then.......habis!!!

*dances a little jig around the room*

Ermm...on a sober(er) note, hopefully I'll do okay...bab2 bercakap under pressure nih yang susah sket...

Countdown...

5 days before my OSCE exams

6 days before I'm free from the shackles of 4th year medicine (to be fair, it's the best year in med school, but it feels too long..). I hope all goes well with the exams. For what I've done for the written exams, the most I can do now is tawakkal and make dua' that I did allright. InsyaAllah.

And in 9 days' time....I'm going home!!! Can't wait!!!!

I know, I know, for a person who goes back at every opportunity I shouldn't be missing home as much as other people. But I do. Can't do anything ab0ut that.

I Believe in You : Il Divo with Celine Dion

I love this song!!!

p/s : you know the guy on the far right? Don't you think he's beautiful? (as in, pretty boy kind of beautiful...and what a voice!!)

World Cup 2006

It has officially ended.

The Azzurri won.

France played well, but they got unlucky. (Zidane : WHAT were you thinking???!!!)

But the most important thing is : ITALY WON!!!! Woooohoooo!!!

Between the devil and the deep blue sea

Firstly, I just like to say :

I've finished my SSM, 3 weeks before the deadline. Go me!

Well, technically I have. Just have to fix the intro and conclusion a bit, and do my references properly. Have sent the draft to my tutor. Hopefully I won't have to change too much, insyaAllah.

It's a good thing I've finished it too, since I SO have to start revising for my exams. It's next week, by the way. So spending the next 8 days doing nothing but revise and sleep and sleep and more sleep (hey, I need to consolidate my memory okay! Ask any neurologist!)

Neways, had an interesting incident last Friday. Had my revision lectures in Mile End, so after it finished I took the bus back to halls. It was packed, but I managed to squeeze into the back door (it's the long n bendy no. 25 bus with 3 doors). Near the door stood this guy (let's call him Mr X) probably in his twenties, who had weird tics and he was making strange movements and gestures and had conversations with persons only he could see. Since I just finished my psychiatry rotation, I think that Mr. X probably had a schizo-affective disorder, who had not been taking his meds for a while. He kept jumping off the bus whenever the door opened and then jump back in, making Michael-Jackson-like movements.

Moving on with the story, the bus was packed. It was really hot. There were lots of preschool children making lots of noise. I tried to get as far away from the strange guy as I could. At a particular bus stop, a guy with a small dog wanted to get down. Had to push a lot of people, and I had to move closer to Mr. X. And then before the guy with the dog could get down, the door closed and the bus moved again.

So there I was, trapped. With Mr. X right in front of me and the dog near my right foot (I have nothing against dogs, I love to look at them, but you know la, kalau pape susah la nak samak). And Mr. X kept jumping up and down. The dog was restless. I couldn't move.

Then Mr. X suddenly turned around and gave me a smile. I gave him a constipated grin, I think. At that moment, I thought, I'd rather take my chances with the dog. Luckily at the next bus stop Mr. X jumped out for good, as did the guy with the dog...but wait! There was not only one, there were two dogs!! The other one was probably behind me. I was properly cornered. Good thing I didn't notice the other one.

Ah well....

Okay, moving on. Saw 'Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest' today. It was SMASHING!!! Probably the most entertaining movie I've seen in a while. It was so good, I didn't even mind the fact that annoying Keira Knightley was in it (WHAT'S with her and the pouty-lower-lip thingy?? Was that supposed to be sexy??). Amazing effects, really good adventure story, really funny, albeit a dark sequel to the first one, but much much better.

It ran for 150 minutes, just the right length. It didn't feel too short like X-Men 2 (I remember thinking "Was that it?") nor was it too long like Lord of the Rings 3 (I was practically dancing in my seats - my bladder had passed its maximum capacity). Great, great music score.

So if you were contemplating whether or not to go, contemplate no more. GO NOW!!

The downside of it all is the fact that we've got to wait until next year for the 3rd instalment to be released (although they filmed it back-to-back with the second one, kinda like LOTR).

Oh, bugger.

To Germany : Muahahahahahahahah! *gelak evil*

Viva italia!!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brazil lost!!!

*wails*

whywhywhywhywhyWHYYYYYYY??????????

well, I know why, so you don't have to point it out to me (seriously, DON'T), but even so, I was hoping....

*sigh*

frust giler seh.

heck, I'm not even a football fan usually.

p/s : despite their lost against Portugal, I thought England played well. It was a shame it ended as it did...

I'm (not) what?

You are 28.57% jealous!

For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.

524789 people have taken this test to date.

This percentage means that :

You have very few jealous traits.

You rarely over-react and have a handle on the severity of situations.

Whatever jealous attributes you do have will not present a problem in relationships, and will sometimes help.

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**Eh, macam sikit je...

if you want to find out about yourself, click here