One more!!!

Three down, one more to go!!!

OSCE 10-min stations this afternoon.

And then.......habis!!!

*dances a little jig around the room*

Ermm...on a sober(er) note, hopefully I'll do okay...bab2 bercakap under pressure nih yang susah sket...

Countdown...

5 days before my OSCE exams

6 days before I'm free from the shackles of 4th year medicine (to be fair, it's the best year in med school, but it feels too long..). I hope all goes well with the exams. For what I've done for the written exams, the most I can do now is tawakkal and make dua' that I did allright. InsyaAllah.

And in 9 days' time....I'm going home!!! Can't wait!!!!

I know, I know, for a person who goes back at every opportunity I shouldn't be missing home as much as other people. But I do. Can't do anything ab0ut that.

I Believe in You : Il Divo with Celine Dion

I love this song!!!

p/s : you know the guy on the far right? Don't you think he's beautiful? (as in, pretty boy kind of beautiful...and what a voice!!)

World Cup 2006

It has officially ended.

The Azzurri won.

France played well, but they got unlucky. (Zidane : WHAT were you thinking???!!!)

But the most important thing is : ITALY WON!!!! Woooohoooo!!!

Between the devil and the deep blue sea

Firstly, I just like to say :

I've finished my SSM, 3 weeks before the deadline. Go me!

Well, technically I have. Just have to fix the intro and conclusion a bit, and do my references properly. Have sent the draft to my tutor. Hopefully I won't have to change too much, insyaAllah.

It's a good thing I've finished it too, since I SO have to start revising for my exams. It's next week, by the way. So spending the next 8 days doing nothing but revise and sleep and sleep and more sleep (hey, I need to consolidate my memory okay! Ask any neurologist!)

Neways, had an interesting incident last Friday. Had my revision lectures in Mile End, so after it finished I took the bus back to halls. It was packed, but I managed to squeeze into the back door (it's the long n bendy no. 25 bus with 3 doors). Near the door stood this guy (let's call him Mr X) probably in his twenties, who had weird tics and he was making strange movements and gestures and had conversations with persons only he could see. Since I just finished my psychiatry rotation, I think that Mr. X probably had a schizo-affective disorder, who had not been taking his meds for a while. He kept jumping off the bus whenever the door opened and then jump back in, making Michael-Jackson-like movements.

Moving on with the story, the bus was packed. It was really hot. There were lots of preschool children making lots of noise. I tried to get as far away from the strange guy as I could. At a particular bus stop, a guy with a small dog wanted to get down. Had to push a lot of people, and I had to move closer to Mr. X. And then before the guy with the dog could get down, the door closed and the bus moved again.

So there I was, trapped. With Mr. X right in front of me and the dog near my right foot (I have nothing against dogs, I love to look at them, but you know la, kalau pape susah la nak samak). And Mr. X kept jumping up and down. The dog was restless. I couldn't move.

Then Mr. X suddenly turned around and gave me a smile. I gave him a constipated grin, I think. At that moment, I thought, I'd rather take my chances with the dog. Luckily at the next bus stop Mr. X jumped out for good, as did the guy with the dog...but wait! There was not only one, there were two dogs!! The other one was probably behind me. I was properly cornered. Good thing I didn't notice the other one.

Ah well....

Okay, moving on. Saw 'Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest' today. It was SMASHING!!! Probably the most entertaining movie I've seen in a while. It was so good, I didn't even mind the fact that annoying Keira Knightley was in it (WHAT'S with her and the pouty-lower-lip thingy?? Was that supposed to be sexy??). Amazing effects, really good adventure story, really funny, albeit a dark sequel to the first one, but much much better.

It ran for 150 minutes, just the right length. It didn't feel too short like X-Men 2 (I remember thinking "Was that it?") nor was it too long like Lord of the Rings 3 (I was practically dancing in my seats - my bladder had passed its maximum capacity). Great, great music score.

So if you were contemplating whether or not to go, contemplate no more. GO NOW!!

The downside of it all is the fact that we've got to wait until next year for the 3rd instalment to be released (although they filmed it back-to-back with the second one, kinda like LOTR).

Oh, bugger.

To Germany : Muahahahahahahahah! *gelak evil*

Viva italia!!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brazil lost!!!

*wails*

whywhywhywhywhyWHYYYYYYY??????????

well, I know why, so you don't have to point it out to me (seriously, DON'T), but even so, I was hoping....

*sigh*

frust giler seh.

heck, I'm not even a football fan usually.

p/s : despite their lost against Portugal, I thought England played well. It was a shame it ended as it did...

I'm (not) what?

You are 28.57% jealous!

For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.

524789 people have taken this test to date.

This percentage means that :

You have very few jealous traits.

You rarely over-react and have a handle on the severity of situations.

Whatever jealous attributes you do have will not present a problem in relationships, and will sometimes help.

******************************

**Eh, macam sikit je...

if you want to find out about yourself, click here

Psychiatry no more

This week's the last week of my Psychiatry rotation.

Had my last ward round last Tuesday. I got to write in the notes again. The SHO was on leave so I took over (hehehe...*gelak evil*).

At the end of the ward round, sat down with the consultant for assessment and signing of my log book.

The consultant was really nice. He actually wrote in my logbook 'excellent social graces'. Well, for my lack of knowledge I have to make up somehow by being enthusiastic.

It WAS a good firm. I'll miss each and every patient there, crazy or not.

It was one of the best rotation I've had this year. I still want to do Obs&Gynae, but I think I'll take up Psychiatry as a special interest.

What keeps me going...

**4th year med is just too long. Can't wait to go home. **

1) The thought that I'll be home in a little bit more than a month

2) Thoughts of Azureen and my parents' reports of her progress. Video clips of her that I took whenever I was home help a lot

3) That midnight phone call

4) The thought that I'd be seeing that someone after 11 long months

5) My next-door neighbour (also my best friend, my ex-classmate, my ex-roommate), who knows me more than anyone else (in many ways)

Weddings....

Wow.

That's all I can say.

There are SO many weddings!

Everyone I know got married/is getting married this year!

Is it something in the air? Something in the water?

There are nine so far....I suppose I can expect more.

Don't get me wrong, I adore weddings, and I'm glad that everyone who's getting married is doing so...I wish them all the happiness in the world.

Just astounded by the sheer number, I guess. I'm also painfully reminded of my age...well, 23 (ok ok..24 this year) is not old, but that's about the time pressure sets in, isn't it?

Ok...it's scary.

Being grown-up doesn't seem like a good idea at the moment.

Better be prepared to dodge nosy questions from nosy makciks this summer hols....

Comic relief

As I was blog-hopping, wasting time (as usual), I found sth on someone's blog. Twas quite funny. And since my own blog has been filled with my teenage angst (although I'm not a teen anymore I sure feel like one, so just go along with me on this one) I thought that it'll be nice to lighten the blog a bit with this little piece...enjoy!

*******************

You might like this. This is hilarious... even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with... 1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

When she was bad....

Finally recovered from perpetual 'crabbiness', all is bright and beautiful again *grins*.

Had psychiatry lectures today. It. Was. So. Boring! For the first lecture, the consultant was quite pleasing to look at *winks* but even that didn't help save the lecture. Or perhaps it has something to do with the late-night marathon I did...hmm...

After the first lecture, one of my friends wanted to get her ticket to go back home for the summer. Since I knew I was gonna sleep anyway if I stayed, I decided to accompany her. (What?? I was SO going to sleep, and besides, I haven't been to Central London in ages! And they have the lecture handouts online, so it wasn't that bad, was it?)

So off we went, had to go to two travel agents to find a decent deal. After that we stopped at my favourite shoe shop - Clarks!!

The only reason why all my shoes over here are Clarks shoes is because their shoes are some of the most comfortable I've ever worn. And my feet are kinda fussy about shoes. I needed some summer footwear.

I saw one casual wear I've been eyeing for a couple of weeks, so I grabbed that pair in about 5 minutes. Paid for those at the counter, and then my eyes fell onto another pair - oh! They're so pretty!! Tried them on - VERY comfortable heels. Looked at the price. Hmm. It was ok (a little bit pricey but still not too bad) but then I'd already bought a pair. Had to think. Went walking around the shop with the shoes for about 5 mins. Then I felt a bit conscious since one of those guys working there kept looking at me with the shoes, asking if I've made my mind up. So I took them off. Walked around somemore with the shoes in my hand. Ignored the guy. Then I thought "Oh, what the heck" so I marched to the counter and told the cashier firmly "I'll take them".

Now I have 2 more pairs to add to my collection (not that they're THAT many, compared to other people I know, they need a whole cupboard to keep all their shoes!). Mine is just lined up near my door.

So yeah, I've been a little bit naughty today...didn't go for lectures, spent quite a bit...

I promise I'll be very good from now on...

VERY, VERY good.

**This post has been removed**

The Cuckoo's Nest??

Started Psychiatry early this week. Had lectures the past 2 days, and today was my first day on the wards.

2 students per firm, and I was assigned to the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (with another guy who's to be my firm partner).

Initial thoughts within 5 minutes of arrival on the ward:

"Double doors? Locked all the time? Hmm...."

"Where are the beds? Single rooms? Darn, they have it good here"

"Oookay...they are all males.."

"Ermm..why is that guy staring at us from outside the locked office?"

"What IS he doing?"

Had a tour around the ward, we were told to carry bleeps with alarms whenever we're there (security reasons, just in case..apparently the patients can get violent if you're not careful). Were told to always go in pairs whenever we wanted to see a patient.

Talked to a schizophrenic patient just now. Has quite strange delusions. He was found walking aimlessly by the policw on the motorway. He claimed he was 'on the way from Hell to Heaven'.

Mental illness aside, he was a really nice person to talk to. But dear God, I was trying so hard not to giggle or laugh. The other patients were really 'keen' to talk to us too...one guy actually requested to be interviewed.

I don't think I'd choose Psychiatry as a career, but this coming 6 weeks will surely be interesting...

I'm tired.

With everything.

The smallest things can frustrate me nowadays.

Looking at previous entries and judging from the current one, I haven't been my optimistic self for a long time. Haven't written anything worth reading for ages.

Sometimes I feel like leaving everything and run away.

I know this is a phase, and it will pass.

Till then, Lord, give me strength.

Thinking out loud

I don't know. I just don't know.

Everything's uncertain. I hate uncertainties. That's why I always choose the path where I can see the end point.

On the other hand, it's unfair to hope things will go my way.

I'm more than willing to go down the other road; but I need reassurance, anything that can convince me to make that move towards the unknown.

Update

It's been quite sometime since I wrote a proper entry in my blog. Partly because I've been lazy, mostly because I've been so busy.

Started Neurology module at Oldchurch Hospital. It takes approx. 1 hour to travel from my place. Have to take the tube, then the train, then a bus. It's been only 1 week, but travelling kinda wears me out. And I usually have to be in by 9 am (thus I have to get up at 7 latest to get ready) and arrive back at Floyer House usually abt 6.30 pm. The timetable's really packed, we hardly have time to clerk and examine patients. Have to do a minimum of 2 per week, even that is quite a challenge.

But having said that, I have to admit I asked for it. I applied for Oldchurch Hospital because my seniors said they have excellent teaching. And they do. If only we have more time to do things....

I've crossed out Neurology as a career option. I do like Neuro, but I can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life. Sat in during clinics today, and SO many patients come in with headaches and fatigue and pins and needles yada yada yada. Some of the complaints can be psychological. And consultation of each patient takes SO LONG! Don't think I have the energy to cope with that.

I think I'll stick to Obs and Gynae. Things are more structured and less complicated. You are either pregnant or you're not. You are either incontinent or you're not. Not so much grey area there.

So yeah, now I'm in my 2nd week of Neurology out of a total of 4 weeks. Next rotation will be Psychiatry, the branch of medicine I've struck off as a career option a long time ago. Can't listen to people talk for a long time, you see. I get restless...or even worse, I fall asleep! Nevertheless, I'm sure it'll be interesting an interesting 6-week rotation.

We'll see........

***************************

(this entry is for Kit)

Kit! I'm really sorry that I'll be missing your wedding. Wish I could be there, I always thought I'd be part of it too....

Apapepun, I wish you all the happiness in the world! Although I won't physically be at your wedding, please know that you have all my love and best wishes on that day!!

Tell Althie he better treat you right. Or he'd have to face me (and Amy too!). I'm sure he will, though ;)

Lots of hugs and kisses!

In love with.....

Michael Buble's 'You'll Never Know'

Well, it's not exactly his song. The song's been around for quite sometime. Frank Sinatra sang it, Barbra Streisand sang it. But I gotta say, Buble's rendition gave me goosebumps.

::You'll Never Know::

Darling, I'm so blue without you
I think about you the live-long day
When you ask me if I'm lonely
Then I only have this to say

You'll never know just how much I miss you
You'll never know just how much I care
And if I tried, I still couldn't hide my love for you
You ought to know, for haven't I told you so
A million or more times?

You went away and my heart went with you
I speak your name in my ev'ry prayer
If there is some other way to prove that I love you
I swear I don't know how
You'll never know if you don't know now

You'll never know just how much I miss you
You'll never know just how much I care
You said good-bye, no stars in the sky refuse to shine
Take it from me, it's no fun to be alone
With moonlight and memories

*this is Frank Sinatra's version. Other singers usually leave the 1st and 4th verses out. Can't imagine why.

Arrrrrggggghhhh!!

Why am I so restless?

Been surfing the net aimlessly for hours, coz I can't focus

Must be having withdrawal symptoms...I miss home

Can't even sit and read for five minutes!

I think I'll go and cook something...chop some things up

Chop things up....hmmm....that sounds like a good idea....